When I was 24 I gave myself a black eye because I was too lazy to turn on the light in my bedroom. Fully sober, I attempted to make it from the door to my bed and ended up tripping on, and into, an antique chair. The black eye that resulted from this moment of genius boasted an impressive color palette. It was not my finest moment. Fortunately, I am not alone in my supremely dumb injury. These stories make me feel a hell of a lot better about my life and choices.
