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Twitter Users Debate the Mechanics of Vampire Sex, Hilarity Ensues

Vampires make people horny. We're not making a blanket statement here, but it's a pretty undeniable fact. For hundreds of years, humans have eagerly consumed media regarding the scary and sensual bloodsuckers. And while we can't claim to be experts in the field of vampire content, it sure does seem like the world's been extra interested in the raunchier side of these undead creatures. Over the last 20 years, starting with Underworld, the spooky subjects of European folklore were nearly unavoidable on the silver screen and our black mirrors. 

Some of the television shows to come out of this period were almost shockingly sexual. Yeah, we're talking about True Blood. None of my friends could deny the appeal of Alexander Skarsgard's oft-naked Eric Northman. There was The Vampire Diaries.  And then there was Twilight, a series of movies based on the saga by Stephanie Meyer. These movies were less horny and more cringey, but boy, did they involve some sexual tension (and eventually, yes, some vampire boning). Despite the breadth of lusty content, there's very little mention in any of these stories regarding exactly how vampire sex works. And until a couple days ago, we'd never really questioned it. Until we saw this tweet a couple days ago.

We weren't the only people intrigued and disgusted by @REALlilDebbie's blunt question. The tweet went viral, inspiring self-described vampire scholars, Twilight fans, and jokesters to respond with theories, TikToks, "scientific" explanations, and, of course, some amusing reactions. While the thread is arguably hysterical, we're more impressed by the sheer volume of knowledge dropped in the replies. We actually learned something today. That counts for something. Definitely going to be telling people that vampire literature becomes popular during sexually repressed times. Maybe our pandemic dry spells are to blame for all the Twilight discourse on TikTok. Whatever the case, we're enjoying the nerdy ride. 


Twitter users debate how vampires have sex, vampire boners, lol, funny, twilight, blood, erections, true blood, edward cullen
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15 Tinder Convos That Took A Snarky Turn For The Worst

It's hard out there for a single person in 2019. Dating apps like Tinder have supposedly made it easier to find a date, but sometimes we feel like it just complicates things. You gotta deal with ghosting, crazies, and the occasional conversation that totally flops, such as the following. But hey, at least we got quite a bit of amusement out of reading through these!

Funny Tinder conversations
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27 DnD Memes For The Nerds

Roleplaying games are especially fun these days. Nobody wants to focus on reality, which makes devoting oneself to a fictional world of fantastical fun all the more enjoyable. Even if you can't get together with your Dungeons and Dragons buds, there's a wealth of memes on Reddit and Twitter to keep you satiated. And we've got a whole lot of 'em right here. 

Funny dungeons and dragons memes, lol, dank memes, nerdy memes dnd memes | bards don't have be slutty prayin some booty any class can be Slutty if believe in yourself | are there any traps? DM: there don't appear be any find answer vague and unconvincing
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44 Sex Memes to Send to Someone You're Trying To Bang

Who doesn't enjoy a good dirty joke? We've got a saucy batch of sex-themed memes for dirty-minded people with a good sense of humor. Whether you're in a long-term monogamous relationship, juggling a few casual partners, or just need a few dirty memes to DM to a crush, we've got some relatable content in here about all kinds of sexy situations. Get your mind into the gutter with these scandalous memes, and don't worry, the horny police are nowhere in sight. 

sex memes, naughty, dirty jokes, horny, funny memes, dank memes, memes, funny, sex | he start yelling too many instructions while y'all having sex Now flip over on side turn around look at | OH PLEASE TREAD ON Gadsden flag snake with a gag
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Twenty-Four Tweets About Bizarre Forms Of Sexual Tension

As many people are staying indoors because of the pesky coronavirus pandemic, we aren't finding many opportunities to feel sexual tension. But that's not stopping Twitter users from tweeting about it. After @wendys_dumpster went viral for tweeting about "The sexual tension between you and the person adjusting your seatbelt on a rollercoaster," many users followed suit with their own extremely specific examples of charged situations. While some of the tweets are strange and irreverent (lobotomy, anyone?) others are actually super relatable. Here are our favorites.


Funny twitter meme about the sexual tension when, the sexual tension between you and, tweets, funny tweets, relatable tweets | Wheat Feild @wendys_dumpster sexual tension between and person adjusting seatbelt on rollercoaster 1:54 PM 8/1/20 Twitter Android
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Quality Memes For Quality Time-Wasting

It's important to keep a routine during these uniquely trying times. For us, that means looking at memes all day, but looking at even more memes to decompress when the week's work is done. And since it's Friday, we want you do to exactly the same. 

Funny random memes, horny memes, coronavirus, quarantine memes, relatable memes | Always Sunny in Philadelphia BUSINESS INSIDER Subscribe Americans are driving less because coronavirus s hurting red-light camera revenue. Graham Rapier Apr 1, 2020, 11:22 AM UBeeti Aww, did somebody get addicted STEALING PEOPLE'S MONEY imgflip.com | not even watching movie Yes am Oczsavage cat sleeping under a blanket
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Powerpoints About Touching Boobs And Butts Are Horny And Hilarious

We've got to hand it to whatever horny dude created these compelling Powerpoint presentations. "Why You Should Let Me Touch Your Butt" and "Why You Should Let Me Touch Your Boobs" are both valiant efforts at obtaining some very-important consent. While we hope that the creator got the heavy petting they desired, we also hope this was a joke and not a serious plea to some poor woman. We're going to keep enjoying the masterpieces until we hear otherwise.

Funny powerpoints, why you should let me touch your butt, why you should let me touch your boobs.
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Raunchy Memes For All You Naughty Freaks

Are you the kind of person who can't help but make things sexual? Has it been way too long since you felt a sexy human touch? Either way, these horny memes are guaranteed to satisfy your inner freak. Or we'll give you your money back.

Sexy memes, sexual memes | Man - he's not afraid nail right on couch justdoctorsatanthimgz | Light fixture - Her: Deeper
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KFC's Dating Sim Has Twitter Both Horny & Confused

KFC announced yesterday that they are releasing a dating sim game on Steam and people on Twitter are responding both incredulously and lustfully at the news. The game, called I Love You Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator, is set for a September 24th release, and features Japanese-style animation, as well as an unsettlingly hot depiction of a young Colonel Sanders. 

According to KFC, the game features multiple hours of gameplay, recipes, and a secret ending. Players will be able to choose one of nine characters to attend culinary school with the fried chicken zaddy, in the hopes of becoming his business partner or, uh, lover. We'll admit that the premise of this game is somewhat disturbing, but we're both intrigued and weirdly into the animated Sanders. According to these Twitter reactions, we're definitely not alone. 

Funny Twitter reactions to KFC's Colonel Sanders dating sim
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16 Sexual Memes For The Perpetually Horny

If you've been having tons of sex and can't think about anything else, or need an outlet for your unfulfilled sexual urges, these memes are for you. They're not exactly safe for work, so it's best if you peruse them in a private place, and probably with clean hands. When you're finished having your special meme time and need more, check out some more of our raunchy memes or memes that are for adults only.

Listicle of sexual memes, sexy memes, hot sex, sexy times, dirty memes, raunchy memes, natalie portman erasing the world "whore" from window in black swan, eggplant emoji.
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17 Fiery Memes & Tweets About Belle Delphine's GamerGirl Bath Water

Belle Delphine's GamerGirl Bath Water has been causing a quite a stir for quite a few days. The product has spawned hoaxes (herpes, GamerGirl pee) and, more importantly, a wealth of hilarious tweets and memes. Here are some of our favorites.

Funny memes and tweets about Belle Delphine's GamerGirl Bath Water.
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Girl Masterfully Trolls Horny Dude With A Multitude Of Towels

Literally every woman out there knows all about the creepy, thirsty dudes of the world. Also known as the f*ckboy, these horny dudes think they're slick as hell, but we always know what they're up to when they slide into our DMs. Let's re-emphasize that: we ALWAYS know what you're up to.

girl wearing multiple towels
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Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper's Horny Oscars Performance Was A Meme Goldmine

While the the 2019 Oscars were exceedingly memeable, the most meme-worthy award definitely goes to Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. Their performance of A Star Is Born's "Shallow" was almost uncomfortably intimate, and proceeded to spawn a wealth of suspicious and tea-loving tweets about the duo's sexual tension. Memes quickly followed, ranging from sexual in nature to celebrations of our banal Oscarless lives. While these are some of the funniest memes we could find, we're willing to bet that Gaga and Cooper will be gracing Reddit, Twitter, and Instagram for the entire week. We're not complaining.

Funny tweets and memes about Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper performance, shallow, the oscars, oscars 2019, sexy, irina shayk.
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horny impossible Rule 34 text yes - 3699793920
By Andy_23
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HORNYCARE We don't know what it is, but we're pretty sure you want to try it