Home Alone

In case you forgot about him:

Poor guy can't even get a high five.

WARNING: Mildly disturbing content ahead

This might actually work if we can yank today's poorly aged Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) out his chain-smoking tent to star as Jigsaw in "The First Act."

Like the grown-up Culkin looks creepy enough without the proverbial sadistic clown face mask. Grantland writer, Jason Concepcion scrooged our last holiday season over when he drew back the curtains on a truth too dark and twisted for any 90's kid to stomach; Kevin McCallister, the blue-eyed, smirking, havoc-wreaking, kid-wonder with an overdeveloped appetite for lighting burglars on fire matures to become Jigsaw from the "Saw" series.

Perhaps most compelling of Concepcion's unfortunately well grounded theory, is his proposal that Jigsaw's inventions mirror what the young Kevin McCallister imagined as some sort of furnace monster in the original Home Alone. Just an arm's reach away from the furnace sits a clown mask that holds an uncanny resemblance to the Jigsaw mask. Uh, okay then.

Concepcion ended his original post after proposing this theory with a neck hair raising, "case closed."

BUZZ your girlfriend, woof