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15 Jesus Tweets That'll Bring You Back To Life In Three Days

In case you've ever been curious about what sorts of holiness Jesus would tweet, you're in luck! Check out Twitter account Jesus Tweets You for more good, wholesome hilarity.

funny christian wholesome tweets
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14 Hilariously Witty Tweets About God Creating Various Animals

Just in time for the lord's day, we've got some clever tweets poking fun at how God created different animals. Now let's get our asses to church and get that hallelujah on.

tweets of god making the various animals with jokes thrown in
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cafe coffee double meaning grounds holy holy grounds literalism name sign - 5716449024
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Don't believe the Bible; Jesus' greatest miracle was in fact the transformation of water into java. - Matty Malaprop

By putmans
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Robin: He's the sidekick Batman gets right now, but absolutely NOT the sidekick Batman wants. - Matty Malaprop

expletive holy literalism sheet similar sounding - 5302988288
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Because clearly the highest quality paper in the world has a grain that points Heavenward at all times. - Matty Malaprop

angel archangel crap exclamation halo holy literalism wings - 4708404736
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I, the Archangel Feceskiel, have descended from heaven to s* on your parade. I've never much cared for you Macy's folk, you know. - Matty Malaprop