This isn't Don't Worry Darling

Transactional relationships are a tough break . You might think you're entering into a partnership because you enjoy the other person's company, but they might have a different idea in mind. In the age of social media, this has become more and more common. We're incentivized to use each other- for access, for clout, or for money. The digital world flattens relationships into two dimensions, and it's harder to access the real side of someone. That's why it's so important to keep your genuine fri…

A surprise gesture can mean the world to someone. If you're having a rough time, you might think that no one knows what you're going through, let alone cares. You might feel isolated and alone like the only person who truly has your back is you. But if a friend suddenly comes through in an unexpected way, it can flip that whole perspective. This is why we should always check in on each other. You can never be sure how much a nice gesture can mean to someone. But what happens when that person ta…

This time of year, many folks are looking for a house sitter . You may be gone for the holidays and need someone to check your mail, water your plants, and most importantly, take care of your pets. Ideally, in these situations, you want someone you can trust. You want to make sure they will fulfill the tasks they've been asked to, and be respectful doing so. You don't want anyone who is liable to throw a party in your empty pad, eat all your cereal, or even just forget to blow out the candles.…

Having a roommate can be a difficult situation to navigate, especially if one of you is third-wheeling. I know plenty of couples who live with one other person, and it can work if you're conscious about it. As the couple, you have to make sure you're not PDA-ing too hard in front of your roommate. And as the roommate, you have to assert yourself as an equal third. This balance can be tricky, though, as it can quickly feel like its two against one. But what happens when the couple is just doing…

Cooking is an act of love like anything else . I'm always so touched when someone cooks for me, even if it's just my roommate making a weeknight dinner. Cooking is an art form, so when someone is brave enough to share it with you, then you should treat it with the utmost respect. Unless they expressly invite criticism, I don't think you should comment on it in a negative way. This even holds true in a marriage. It might be even more important in the context of a marriage. Since nobody has to co…

Some people have weird things about leftovers

To paraphrase Virginia Woolf, everyone needs a room of one's own. If at all possible, we all need spaces that are fully ours, where we can decompress, be creative, and not have to worry about someone barging in and demanding something of us . This is especially true as a new parent. It might not always be possible to have a sanctuary as a new mom, but you can get creative with it. Maybe you take extra long “showers," and when you're family thinks you're shampooing, you're actually knee-deep in…

Being unemployed is no walk in the park . It can do a number on your mental well-being and self esteem, not to mention your finances. When you can't find a job, you can feel like you have no purpose in life, that nobody wants you and you have nothing to offer. This, of course, isn't true, it's just straight up hard to find a job these days, but it plays emotional games with your head. And some people can find themselves in that rut for years, especially if their living situation is taken care o…

Everybody wants the perfect proposal photo . You want everyone to be jealous of your picturesque setting, your gorgeous outfit, and the perfect snapshot of the perfect love. On some implicit level, everyone wants that. It's human nature to want those around you to be jealous. But life is far from perfect. It's messy, unpredictable, and often not all that photogenic. That extends to proposals as well. And after all, it's not about that. It's about coming together as a couple in the ultimate prom…

It's always tough to live with a family member. You most likely did it when you were young and then moved out for a reason. It's so much easier to maintain a healthy relationship when you don't also have to share a bathroom or a kitchen with them. But anyone living in close quarters knows how much your roommates can get under your skin, even when they're not doing anything wrong. You get to witness close-ups of their little habits, quirks, and shortcomings, and they can grind your gears no matt…

Is she a child?

Trust is a slippery thing. You want to trust the people you love , but it takes time. Especially if you've been burned before, it can take a heck of a long time to rebuild your trust in others. Sometimes, this is a bad thing. You close people off from getting to really know you because you're scared that they might hurt you, even if they've given you no reason not to trust them. This is what therapy is good for. But in other cases, it's good not to trust someone. Because you think you might kno…

Then I'm a bad person too

Hallmark movies are awesome . They're hilariously, reliably formulaic. They have stilted acting and even more stilted dialogue. They have names like “The Other Christmas Wife” or “Winter Is For Loving, and Christmas." They're my favorite thing to watch when I'm in a hotel room. Nothing hits like a terrible movie and a room service BLT. My mom and I play a game we invented whenever we watch Hallmark movies together: we pause it 15 minutes in and each take a turn saying what we think is going to…

Everyone is entitled to their weird collecting habit, within reason. Some people collect stamps. Some collect Beanie Babies. Some folks collect Garfield memorabilia. Some collect fingernail clippings. Whatever your strange collection is, you're allowed to indulge, as long as (and this is the kicker) it doesn't interfere with anyone's happiness. If you're cohabitating with someone, you have to make sure your stuff is confined to your space. Nobody wants to live with someone whose apartment is li…