King

Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. A bag or multiple bags of assorted candy is sitting dormant in your house at this very second. Surely, nobody would notice if you took one fun-sized Snickers bar , right? There's no way stealing some Dots would make you one of the worst parents in the world pertaining to the aftermath of Halloween. Parents out there make their kids give away all of their candy to the local dentist's office! There are paren…

There is a lot

The candy that splits America

An acquired taste of humor

Sweet dreams

I played a musical instrument once. I played it in one of the most lawless music arenas known to man: the middle school band. During my time as a 12-year-old trombone artist, I was kind of killing it. The best thing about trombone is that most of the notes they need you to play are very easy. I remember distinctly that, in our flawless rendition of Don’t Stop Believin’ , I only had to play two notes. I had my knowledge of bass clef and my lips that fit perfectly inside the mouthpiece pulling me…

Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to looking through memes , it's part of my husband's work. And it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet (to scroll through 30 hilarious images) together for the first time, to get acquainted. So I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling. I could start reading the memes out-loud if you'd like. Or perhaps, I could pass them around in an orderly fashion. If I'm being truthful, I mean, I-I have a…

The local news : one of my favorite sources of misinformation. For the past 10 years (and honestly, probably even longer than that), every local news station in the country has recycled the same tired warnings about drugs or razor blades being snuck into their children's Halloween candy. They broadcast images of colorful candy-like substances and tell parents to watch out, as drug dealers are dead set on secretly imbuing these devilish substances into the bodies of innocents. Of course, this is…

The most dramatic of feuds

Who really enjoys them the most?

How could they

He wasn't camera ready

Come again?

The pronunciations...

I understand the skeptics of the hottest new social media phenomenon BeReal . After all, we are constantly bombarded with companies wanting us to just download one more app. Sure, there might not be as many hot new social media platforms coming out every year as there were in the 2010s, but they do keep on coming. At this point in my life, I refuse to engage with the Tumblr app any longer. It was too much in 2013 when the triple combo of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram were at their peak and a…