Twitter is a place where online culture is created. That can be said of any number of social media sites, but Twitter is one that transcends the website and enters popular culture. Have you ever watched a movie and thought, “This sounds like it was written by a robot whose only exposure to humans is through Twitter discourse.” I had that exact thought while watching the 2022 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies , and I'm not the only one. Occasionally, tweets become so iconic that nobody ever forgets w…

Do you still have the unbridled whimsy and joy of a child? Do you long to go back to being eight years old just for a day? Do you ever cry that you're never going to be a happy kid on Christmas morning ever again? To answer those questions: no, no, and never. I don't miss being a kid at all. When you're a kid, you can't go anywhere, do anything, and you have nothing. You've got less freedom than you'll ever have for the rest of your life. I'm not one of those adults who wants to watch kids' mov…

Painful

They're festering

Nobody could survive this

Summer days drifting away...

How dare she?

I'm busy doing my cave allegory

I AM A SURGEON

I am so glad I grew up offline. Don't get me wrong, I cherish and enjoy every single solitary second I spend on this sacred place we call “the internet.” However, I'm glad my uncensored access to the world wide web didn't begin until I was 12. I still grew up during the era when little kids didn't have phones, and we just watched the same episode of Hannah Montana over and over again to amuse ourselves. We were still flying our brains, but with Cartoon Network instead of TikTok. Kids no longer…

Harry Potter fans love to praise the worldbuilding of the Wizarding World, and I understand why. Harry Potter is often the first prolonged series of books young readers will consume that takes place in a complex alternate universe. Because of this nostalgia, the worldbuilding gets a bit overhyped by fans who don't wish to see any of the series' flaws. The piece of worldbuilding that most befuddled me when I first read Harry Potter was the “genetic blood protection spell” that Lily allegedly cas…

Where does a meme end and a tweet begin? Can tweets be memes? Can a trend that originated on Twitter transcend to become something beyond what mere memes can encapsulate? These are questions that I simply can't and won't answer. Just because I'm here does not make me a confident meme expert. I am just a dum-dum whose brain is fueled by exorbitant amounts of Diet Mountain Dew at press time. The one thing I do know is that I am not going to quit Twitter . I've been on that godforsaken website sin…

Happy day!

Remember those "May the 4th" jokes today, dads!

Happy Tuesday, everybody! If you're not reading this on Tuesday, congratulations. You're already several steps ahead of everybody else, including me! I am standing here feeling extremely Tuesday-pilled while you might be living in Wednesday or even Thursday! Tuesday used to be one of my favorite days of the week because I always had a swell little extracurricular activity on Tuesday nights. These days, Tuesday is just another day and another dollar. Honestly, I think Thursday might be my least…

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