Bzzzzzz.

Adulting isn't as fun as we thought it would be.

The Super Bowl is only two weeks away, and we finally know who will play in the big game. The Kansas City Chiefs will go head-to-head against the Philadelphia Eagles at State Farm Stadium in Arizona. The Chiefs won the Super Bowl in 2019, and The Eagles won for the first time in 2017. This information might sound a bit basic to you real sports fans out there, but I'm here to educate my fellow ignorant slobs. My family has not had a great go about it with Super Bowl victories. My mom's a Bears f…

Aww, yeah, it's Monday (again)! Our favorite day of the week, baby. As we've intimated a million times before, as arbitrary as time is, and as predictable as Monday is, it simply doesn't get any easier. The prospect of five days of drudgery can be pretty demoralizing, especially when you hate your job, are underpaid, and feel disrespected on the regular. But we digress. As terrible as Mondays are, and as much as we may dislike obeying the old five-day workweek, there are plenty of tools at our/…

You know what you're getting into!

Happy weekend, internet friends. If you have been feeling anything like I am, then life must be feeling a whole lot like groundhog day. As I've sworn off many of my vices since the pandemic's start, every day just seems pretty cookie cutter. Even our beloved Fridays and Saturdays. Welcoming chaos into my life, whether in the form of alcohol, drugs, or dating, seems to have had a purpose: staving off boredom. As I struggle with the monotony of existence, and another shitty day at my shitty job,…

It is said that variety is the spice of life. Unfortunately, my life is bland as hell. It reminds me of all those annoying memes about how white people don't season their food. Just so you know, I do season my food , but I also spend most of my time at a sterile desk in a mind-numbing open office plan, wondering when I will be free from this incredibly boring cyclical hell. I could quit my job, but listen. I've got a couple fussy cats to feed. And I wouldn't dare do that to them. So instead of…

Greetings, internet users and abusers. It's Thursday, January 26th, and today feels just like any other. I got up, got out of bed, dragged a comb (brush) across my head. I opened up my ThinkPad and went to Twitter.com like I do every day from Monday to Friday. As per usual, I almost immediately closed the laptop and prayed to the powers that be. Why? Because perusing Twitter for quality content can be so disheartening. Fortunately, betwixt the rantings and ravings of political lunatics, and the…

I'm the problem, it's me.

I like to laugh; Sue me! If it's a crime to laugh out loud, then I am on the fast track to being sent to a maximum security prison . More than laughing itself, I love to embrace cackling as my primary medium for conveying the joy that lives within me. Cackling is not just a laughter type, it's a way of living. I do not care that I sound like a witch. I do not care that now everybody in the room is looking in my direction. I do not care that an elderly gentleman is now asking me why I'm ‘screami…

Happy Monday, people. And a very happy Lunar New Year to all who celebrate. I, for one, am suffering due to some serious Lunar New Year celebrations . And no, I'm not hungover. I'm weary from eating roughly one thousand dumplings, 400 egg rolls, and many, many clementines. We had shrimp dumplings, pork dumplings, spicy pork dumplings, and wonderfully mushroomy veggie dumplings to top things all off. Every year my friends and I get together for this dumpling fest, and every year I forget about h…

Dating as a parent must be tough, but watching a parent date later is pretty tough, too. The frustration, the sadness of watching someone you love get hurt. While we have tons of sympathy for adults who are forced back into the dating pool, having to watch someone you respect and love struggle in an area of common sense must be difficult. Twitter user @stahppitrahn provided some very good (and very funny) proof of this recently. Seems her sweet father fell prey to a dating scammer who tried to…

Explaining your trauma < memes

Hello, internet explorers. I'm having a tough time. The longer this (I know, relatively mild) winter drags out, the worse my internet addiction gets. Here in the Northeast, we're kinda lacking this little thing called “sunlight.” While the days are technically getting longer, it sure doesn't feel like it. Gone are the bright, sunshiney days of summer. We simply have to accept that the most sunlight we'll get is during our morning coffee and lunch breaks, or during incredibly expensive trips to…

Free your mind! And the memes will follow

To say life isn't fair would be an understatement. I'm currently juggling a million responsibilities, the existential dread of the era, and trying not to absorb the pain of everyone else and everything else that currently surrounds me. It's really difficult to keep it all together. Add that to the prohibitively high cost of therapy and a psychiatrist, and the cocktail isn't one that really makes one feel loosened up. The depression gives way to anxiety, which makes me so tired that it turns bac…