Eye watering

The struggle continues

"I know you're about to make the f*ck outta this Philly"

They ate what now?

It seems like a couple of years ago, all of our friends were baking beautiful loaves of artisan bread and sharing their creations on Instagram. There was also that banana bread phase, the Beef Wellington phase (Thanks, New York Times). I don't bake, but I posted my fair share of foodstagrams during the pandemic. But after a while, I kind of lost interest in sharing. I even lost interest in c ooking. Being forced to cook all my own meals for a few years kind of took some of the joy from the proc…

Memes love you. Memes will never leave you randomly one night without warning, never to be seen again. The memes you have stored on your phone will be with you for as long as you want, and they won't leave unless you ask them to. If you politely and amicably split with your memes, they will be cordial and respectful. Memes won't leave your phone in the middle of the night, go into the city doing God knows what with God knows who, and sneak back into your phone at 6 AM and think you won't notice…

Fast food brands love to pat themselves on the back for their so-called innovations. And most of the time, the self-congratulations are completely unwarranted. We're talking KFC's ‘Double Down,’ Taco Bell's misguided foray into the chicken world, and Panera's grilled mac and cheese sandwich. Yesterday, the world got a taste of another unnecessary menu item that will probably be discontinued before the year is through: The Papa John's Papa Bowl.

Food is the fuel of the now. Without it, you will literally die. The only reason you can read this sentence is that you've eaten food recently. Well, that's not the only reason, but it's definitely up there. Food is more than just a tool to not die for most people. While a rare few would prefer just to take a food pill, others see past its admittedly functional nature. Food can be a way of communicating love and care for your family and yourself. Making a meal for somebody can mean much more th…

Gotta hand it to her

The 1950s was the golden age of the Jell-O mold . Homemakers regularly put their leftover fruits, vegetables, and even cheeses into a monstrosity of gelatin. This culinary trend sparks a lot of unanswered questions. What secrets were they hiding in there? Who decided this was a good idea? Was Jell-O the symbol of the repressed female rage that lived inside every 1950s housewife? Throughout the past few decades, foods have gotten even crazier than lime Jell-O with cottage cheese. With newfangled…

Don't tell Italy

Boba tea, your days are numbered

A bottomless pit

Picture this: It's August 2022. As the world continues to struggle with a pandemic, and the United States is facing a scary recession, Americans seem to have gained some much-needed perspective. Instead of jumping at the opportunity to go full Karen at the drop of the hat, people are taking deep breaths, and learning not to sweat the small stuff. “Let people live” has become the country's motto, and the internet is a happy place. Instead of raging comment sections, people share compliments, adv…

Where's her Michelin star

For many people, food is the only thing that brings them pleasure. That faction of human beings includes me. While I'm eating lunch, I'm thinking about what's for dinner. I spend hours walking through supermarket aisles, definitely not under the influence of a smokeable plant, dreaming about the meals I can make with all the beautiful and fresh ingredients. Sadly, inflation has drastically changed my grocery-buying abilities. Come on, people. Blueberries should not cost $9.99. The sheer cost of…