It's my belief that people take lemons for granted. Most stores, even the produce-phobic bodegas of Brooklyn , have a least a few to offer the acid-seeking individuals of the world. Lemons gussy up water. They add zip to salad dressings, their zest is crucial for many baked goods, and they taste good as hell in a cocktail. Lemons have inspired tired phrases (When life gives you lemons… ) and denigrating ones (when we're talking about disappointing people or things). Lemon-flavored things also g…

Feed me!

Delicious!

Y'ARG MATEYS! This be a pirate meme compilation. My name is Captain Craig (I know, it's a lousy pirate name…I'm working on it), and I have a tale of woe that's worse than swabbing the deck for fourteen fortnights or even walking the plank. Our fierce pirate crew decked our ship on a deserted island, knowing there was bound to be some hidden treasure afoot. Ye ship's trusty boatswain came upon a big red X, and we knew it would be easy sailing from here. Imagine my surprise when Scallyway Steve d…

Crunchy

Not everyone can be a renaissance man, woman, or person. It's actually pretty unrealistic to think everyone in the world will have a fascinating range of interests, talents, or hobbies. For much of my pathetic time on this planet, I've felt a bit boring . This isn't because I'm dumb, or because I don't know how to make conversation. The feeling of blahness I feel about my personality is mostly due to the fact that all I really care about is food. I love cooking food in my cramped kitchen. I lov…

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…

An Air Fryer is just an EZ Bake Oven for adults—millennials get it...

On Christmas Day, customers usually have enough shame to not show up at a fast food place. They ask insecure questions about when the company lets the employees go home. When you deliver the sad news that you're working until closing, they retreat to their table to eat their McChicken with embarrassed expressions. Unfortunately, during Thanksgiving, customers have a lot less shame. They find it incredibly quirky to go to Popeyes for Thanksgiving instead of cooking a homemade meal. Working in fa…

C'mon, get happy!

Mmm

Flip it

We're just a bunch of daggy kids doing our thing, no? Australian culture has always fascinated me. From the first time I saw The Wiggles on my TV screen, I knew this was an incredible country. I've been staining Courtney Act since I was a teenager, and I will not stop anytime soon. Xanadu is one of the greatest musicals ever written, and the fact that they had to write around Olivia Newton-John's accent only adds to the film. To this day, the story of Steven Bradbury winning the gold at the 200…

Food. Sure, we have to eat it to survive. But the acts of eating, cooking, and even simply buying food go far beyond function. Food brings people together, it's something universal that we share with one another. And while we all have our own food preferences and allergies, many of us use food to express love and affection for each other. When there's something to celebrate, we usually go out for a fancy meal or enjoy a home-cooked feast with loved ones. Food is an experience, it's culture, and…

Children have incredibly creative minds and use this creativity in numerous ways. At my elementary school, the innocents used their childlike wonder to create the grossest monstrosity of food ever concocted. This activity was usually limited to kids who bought lunch at the cafeteria. It's much more complicated to play with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and carrot sticks than it is to mix school milk with a fruit cocktail. Chicken strip day was always the grossest. People would pour strawbe…

Do y'all remember when the concept of bacon was the biggest meme in the world? 2012 was truly a time to be alive: A time when memes were so simple that a popular food could dominate the landscape of popular memes for over a year. Now don't get me wrong, I like bacon. It's the only meat that I would miss if I followed the dietary restrictions put forth by the Old Testament. That being said, even as a meme-obsessed teen, I found the bacon thing to be a bit much. The bacon meme extended far beyond…