When I was little my mom often said she didn't fart. For some stupid reason, I believed her, but then again, I also believed her when she said she was an alien and didn't have a belly button. Kids are dumb. The truth is everyone farts. Besides pooping, peeing, eating, and experiencing heartbreak, there's not much human activity that is more universal. Farting is an important part of life. Flatulence has the power to make people laugh at inopportune moments. Just this morning I got into an argum…