Let's face it. Romance is dead, these days it's all about sliding into dm's so you can get yourself into the bedroom for some fast flesh-pounding experiences.
But don't despair, the decaying corpse of romantic gesture has fertilized a new kind of creativity: the dating app pickup line, where you get to select your piece of meat like you're at a grocery store and barter for it using words and wit.
We're voting Ryan Reynolds for parent of the year. If his hilarious approach to talking about his kids on twitter is any indication, the man is a truly dedicated father and does not fail at all in the parenting department. .
The guy's twitter account is a gold mine as it is, so it makes sense that his twitter take on parenting would be equally amazing.
Some people have very different showers that I do. When I'm in there, with the water rushing over me i do everything I can to turn my damn brain off and not think of anything. I fail to see how some of these strokes of genius come out in the way they do but, alas, here they are.
More Shower Thoughts to soak in after these:
When I was in high school it felt like it was the entire world. Right there, in those hallways. It was as if nothing else mattered. Everything pertinent to your being was there on campus.
Well, 5 years out of that place I couldn't even tell you most of those peoples names. Some faces are there but blurry. Like an out of focus camera. I'm still close to very few of the friends who, at that point, were my entire life.
It just so happens that one of those friends was voted most likely to succeed for our Senior superlatives and, well, he is absolutely killing it and recently graduated from West Point.
It seems like that's not always the case though, some 'Most Likely to Succeed' candidates fail hard. Others have it much worse than that.
Not all ideas are good ideas and just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
I mean, hell, we've all been here before. Someone 'inceptions' some wack idea into your head and you decide to run with it but all it does is lead you down a road of utter insanity.
These people certainly fail pretty hard at recognizing when and idea is a bad one. When they sat down in that barbers chair and gave him their instructions they really should have thought about it twice.
But the barber's response of "Say no more..." doomed them to be on this list.
It really doesn't matter how bad of a day you're having. Taking out your seething inner rage on the rest of the world by being a complete and utter ass to everyone around you is never ok and a great way to fail at being a human being. It goes back to that old saying "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Well, comedian Steve Hofstetter ran into one of these people after his latest trip to the airport and decided to do something about it.
After watching her rampage selfishly through the airport and observing her allowing her dog to relieve itself in the middle of the floor he decided to play a small harmless prank on the woman. A prank that resulted in some sweet justice with more severe consequences than he intended and that's what Fail Blog is all about.
Michael Sam would be the first openly gay player in the NFL; says he knows there will be problems. Dale Hansen is here to talk about celebrating our differences.
