epic fail

On Tuesday evening, a massive container ship about the length of four soccer fields was pushed around by a strong gust of wind, causing the ship to become a giant blockade stretching the entire length of the Suez Canal. Hundreds of other cargo ships haven't been able to pass through the canal, which will become a huge problem for international trade if they don't figure something out soon. Images of a tiny bulldozer trying to dig the gigantic ship out of the mud has been a strangely relatable and Sisyphean sight for many people who have had a pretty tough time lately. Twitter was quick to meme the images into metaphors for depression, procrastination, anxiety and other particularly human afflictions.

We've collected some of our favorite Suez Canal traffic jam Twitter memes for anyone who's been feeling like a monstrous sh*t show lately. 

Do you ever come across a screenshot of a text or comment that makes you feel like you just stepped on a lego? We just winced our way through r/cringetopia and r/insanepeopleonfacebook to check out the latest masters of mortification. To be fair, not all of them are that bad. We can't be too hard on someone who never learned how to properly eat chicken wings. But damn, some of these people should really just log off. Be warned: these painful displays of cringe elevated us to new levels of facepalming.

It's been a big week for creepy old men who like to whip it out. Jeffrey Toobin is probably sighing in relief right now as Twitter explodes over 'Borat 2' spoilers. The eyebrow-raising scene in question involves an awkward hotel room meeting between former mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani and an actress playing Borat's 15-year-old daughter. In some leaked stills from the scene, Giuliani is seen lying on a bed with his hand down his pants as he peers at the 24-year-old actress, at which point Borat apparently bursts into the room and says: "She's 15. She's too old for you." 

The film will be released to the public on Friday, but that hasn't stopped Twitter from churning out pre-emptive hot takes and memes based on the outrageous still images. Giuliani was quick to tweet about the incident and deny any wrongdoing, which only spurred even more spicy responses. Thanks for another batshit week for the internet, 2020. 

Just when you thought this year couldn't get any more unhinged, if you log on to Twitter right now, you'll find that 'Zoom Dick' is one of the top trending topics. And yes, it's pretty much what it sounds like. According to VICE, the New Yorker has suspended CNN reporter Jeffrey Toobin after he whipped it out during a Zoom meeting with his colleagues. Toobin claims the indecent exposure was accidental, believing his camera was off at the time. Yikes. 

Many on Twitter are lamenting the fact that we'll have to add 'Zoom Dick Incident' to the big, fat 2020 history books, while others are embracing the absurd event as a distraction from global pandemic, ceaseless wildfires, and electoral shit-shows. To be honest, we're pretty surprised something like this hasn't already happened at this point. Here's how people on Twitter are reacting to The Great Zoom Dick Incident of 2020.

Once again, it's that tense time of year when Americans argue over whether venerating Columbus is an important part of Italian-American heritage, or whether it's the same thing as celebrating genocide and the spread of infectious disease. If the memes tell us one thing, it's that people on the internet think Columbus was a total idiot for 'discovering' the wrong continent. I mean, he didn't even reach North America—he mistook a few Caribbean Islands for the Indies. Epic fail, bro. Anyway, here are nineteen memes that mock Columbus for Columbusing America. 

Former Major League Baseball star Aubrey Huff took a swing at the gaming community last weekend, implying in a tweet that 'grown ass men' who play video games don't get laid. Who knows, maybe his retired buddies think archaic stereotypes are funny, but Twitter did not let this one slide. What ensued was a barrage of comebacks, quips, and spicy roasts in one endless thread. We've collected some of the funniest replies to Aubrey's foul for your amusement.

Looks like you struck-out this time, Aubrey.

Since the dawn of marketing, businesses have bent over backwards to appeal to the hottest demographic cohorts of the decades. There's nothing they won't co-opt, no 'hip slang' they won't butcher just to sell you a bag of chips. It's fun to imagine a highly neurotic social media marketing 'expert' in 2020 studying Urban Dictionary, furiously scribbling 'thicc' and 'mad sus bro' into a giant ledger. Brands aren't the only ones attempting to communicate with Zoomers through memes. Parents and teachers are putting on their 'fellow kids' hats in a desperate move to appeal to distracted students—though we think these attempts can be somewhat wholesome.

We've put together some of our favorite examples of corporate marketing teams and distressed teachers taking a stab at memeing. Most of the time they totally fail, but a few of these made us chuckle.

Are you looking for a good distraction from that thing you're supposed to be doing right now? You've come to the right place. Here are a bunch of memes that will satisfy that urge to procrastinate. 

Ariana Grande is getting roasted hard for the newest addition to her tattoo collection. On Tuesday, the singer posted a photo on Instagram of the tattoo on her palm, which supposedly reads "seven rings" in Japanese in honor of her latest single of the same name. Only, Japanese speakers on social media started noticing that the tattoo doesn't actually say "seven rings," but rather "Japanese-style barbecue grill" due to a terrible translation fail.

Following the backlash, Grande deleted her Instagram post and attempted to "fix" the tattoo with the help of her Japanese tutor by adding another character and a heart symbol. Unfortunately, this time around the tattoo reads "Japanese barbecue finger <3" which is arguably a lot worse than the original. Might be time to find a better tutor, Ariana. Sigh.

This girl failed miserably in her first-ever attempt at grilling burgers. But hey, you gotta start somewhere when it comes to anything, so we applaud her for her efforts! An attempt was made and that's all that truly matters, right? We just hope she ordered a pizza afterward or something...

The criminal case against Paul Manafort got a lot more (publicly) interesting yesterday after it became known that he shared polling data with Russian associate Konstantin Kilimnik. This very juicy information is almost rivaled by how the intel was obtained - via a terrible and arguably hilarious fail on the part of Manafort's lawyers. 

It would seem that these attorneys skipped their redacting class. Instead of, you know, using the redact tool on Photoshop, Manafort's brilliant team just placed black boxes over the text. This allows anyone who knows how to copy and post to reveal the information. As can be expected, the blunder was received with a gigantic collective facepalm from people on Twitter. We're just happy for the laughs, and for the Photoshop lesson.