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Ba-dum-tss

Funny Twitter meme about being on a date with a houseplant | An English Human @English_Channel [on a date with a houseplant] Me: everything ok? you hardly touched your dinner. Houseplant: Yes, I'm just eating light
Via ohvalleyofplenty
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Thank you, we'll be here all week.

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Fifteen Times Amateur Cooks Really Blew It In The Kitchen

Look, we can't all be excellent cooks, and that's okay. What matters is that these people tried. And for those of us who are really just not culinarily gifted no matter how hard we try, there's always Postmates!

Funny photos of times people messed up their cooking | too much cooked rice it's lifting the lid from the pot | glasses baked into a loaf of bread
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Mom, Stop

Funny meme about a mom telling her kid's secret to everyone at the dinner table | The secret told my mom not to tell anyone about the whole family and the dinner tables
Via anlyin
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I'm never telling you anything ever again.

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Nutritious

Funny meme that reads, "We all know one homie who still eats like this" above a photo of a plate of a bunch of junk food
Via LeoSenior
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I'm an adult and I do what I want.

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Judgment Day Is Here

Uber Eats banner that says "Be prepared to meet Jesus outside" with caption that reads, "Did Uber Eats just threaten me??"
Via moghees
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You're about to meet your eternal fate.

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Truth

Funny comic about uber eats.
Via distinguishedbaloney
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Stop wasting your money!

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That's A Better Name For Them

First guy texts his friend that he only ate one "nasty apple things" with a photo of a salad with radishes on the side; friend texts back that they are radishes, not apples, and the first guy says they are "mini dirt apples"
Via turtleneckedflatbread
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"Mini dirt apples" has a nice ring to it.

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Savage Mom

Caption that reads, "My mom made everyone get out of her picture with the food 'cause 'ain't nobody help'" above a pic of a mom surrounded by plates of food that she made
Via SliderBoom
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Well, she's got a point technically.

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GIVE THAT BACK

Caption that reads, "When someone takes the last slice of pizza" below a pic of a sculpture of a baby putting its hand into a man's mouth
Via FoxInZox
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It's MINE motherf*cker.

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Girl Fails Spectacularly At Grilling Burgers In This Ridiculous Snapchat Saga

This girl failed miserably in her first-ever attempt at grilling burgers. But hey, you gotta start somewhere when it comes to anything, so we applaud her for her efforts! An attempt was made and that's all that truly matters, right? We just hope she ordered a pizza afterward or something...

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F*cking Weirdos

Caption that reads, "People who only eat two slices of pizza and say they're full" above a pix of Jennifer Lawrence looking disgusted
Via UserguyMcMister
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People who are like this: why are you like this.

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Disowned

Tweet that reads, "I was home for Christmas and my parents cooked a beef tenderloin. I said, 'Man, Budapest is going to love this.' They asked who Budapest was. I said, I named my stomach Budapest because it's the capital of HUNGRY,' and that's when they stopped calling me son"
Via michaelllclark
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The parents were probably justified in their decision.

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Has A Nice Ring To It

Text that reads, "35 years ago in elementary school, one of my friends called a 'sloppy Joe' an 'untidy Joseph.' I haven't been able to call it anything else since then. Now you'll call it that too"
Via Orikson
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A much better name!

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It's A Struggle Every Night

Tumblr post that reads, "Sensible part of your brain: you made enough pasta that you could take it for lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container; Overwhelming majority of brain: shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now"
Via jessedeee
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I can't help it, pasta is so delicious.

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It's A Trap

Funny meme about mom tricking you into setting the table.
Via dancharlton
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Trust no one. 

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But They're So Hungry

Caption that reads, "When you own dogs and try to eat" above a pic of three cute dogs looking at someone with food
Via anlyin
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