“I'm a comedian.” Three words, beginning with a contraction, that make me back away in revulsion. Back when I had Tinder, I listed two kinds of people who I simply would not converse with: The above self-proclaimed funnymen, and burners. Burners, as in Burning Man attendees. These types of people and their personalities (for the most part) couldn't turn me on less. My other major sexual dealbreaker is skipping foreplay, which is harder to assess when swiping on a dating profile . Most people ca…

Maybe celibacy is the best option

Are you or someone you know always getting rejected despite being “nice” to women? Do you think girls only want to date mean and bad boys? Does this perception fill you with rage? Hopefully, this doesn’t apply to you because the last thing you’d want to be is a Nice Guy . Let’s take a minute to discuss and observe these confusing sorts of creatures. So what exactly is a nice guy? I guess the most basic definition would be, guys who believe themselves to be polite and courteous towards women, bu…

People never stop

For all intents and purposes, I am single and have been for some time now. I have the kind of personality that doesn't need or want to be in a relationship constantly. I'm independent, ambitious, and incredibly invested in my friendships. I'm not somebody who needs to be convinced that it's okay to be single. If you're one of those people who have not been single since you were 16, I understand the fear of being alone. When you're single, it's harder to find that one person that always has your…

$3 for a Kraft single though

When we talk about relationships, it feels like people are usually discussing ones of the romantic variety. But there are many other types of relationships. The relationship you have with your toilet, for example. Or your friendships, the people who are your blood family, or perhaps your chosen family. I, personally, have a relationship with my coworkers. It's usually positive. But we have our little ways of communicating with side-eyes, smiles, and sometimes the odd eye-roll that lets us know…

Why are people like this

Take that one to the grave

In the trenches

Where are the manners?

Stupid people are dumb

Dating in 2023 can feel like a minefield. The digital landscape presents unique challenges that simply did not exist for our parents or older generations. While technology has opened up a wider pool of potential matches, it has also introduced a whole new array of pitfalls and problems that make finding true love feel more daunting than ever. Navigating dating apps like Hinge or Tinder can be exhausting. From endless swiping to dead-end conversations, the journey to love often feels like a frus…

Instant ick

Never dating again

New relationship pathologizing term just dropped