People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

I can still smell it. I can see it. I can even taste it. The sweet soda flavor and subtle berry-colored tint made Bonne Bell's Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers a cult favorite from elementary school all the way into high school. The lip balm was mentioned all the time in our favorite teen magazines , and the popular girls at school applied and reapplied every five minutes. That sh*t smelled so good. While it took a while for me to convince anyone to buy it for me, once I had it, I was hooked. And I felt…

Just stay single

We love the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. It's a brilliant place where people can cast judgment on others based on their actions, and while we love every possible outcome, there's something extra satisfying about seeing clueless, entitled jerks taken down a notch by the people of Reddit. You know the type. They share their story expecting to be cleared of any possible wrongdoing, only to find out their shitty behavior has made them a lot of new Internet enemies. We don't see these posts as much as…

Dating as a parent must be tough, but watching a parent date later is pretty tough, too. The frustration, the sadness of watching someone you love get hurt. While we have tons of sympathy for adults who are forced back into the dating pool, having to watch someone you respect and love struggle in an area of common sense must be difficult. Twitter user @stahppitrahn provided some very good (and very funny) proof of this recently. Seems her sweet father fell prey to a dating scammer who tried to…

This guy is: Ice. Farking. Cold.

Here we go again, back at it with another steaming hot plate of memes for your consumption. It must be so nice to have delicious memes provided to you every night without effort on your part. Some people in this world slave away, looking for memes far and wide to feel their ever-growing families. When I was a boy, I used to walk 20 miles uphill and back in the snow to get to school. What does that have to do with memes you might ask? Absolutely nothing, but I just wanted to rub it in that your…

Who is wrong here?

So gross

“I'm a comedian.” Three words, beginning with a contraction, that make me back away in revulsion. Back when I had Tinder, I listed two kinds of people who I simply would not converse with: The above self-proclaimed funnymen, and burners. Burners, as in Burning Man attendees. These types of people and their personalities (for the most part) couldn't turn me on less. My other major sexual dealbreaker is skipping foreplay, which is harder to assess when swiping on a dating profile . Most people ca…

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/Tinder subreddit by Redditor u/Throwawayanalyst96 who posted screenshots of their recent Tinder success. The screenshots show his opening line which deviates from the ‘mainstream’ phrase of ‘Netflix and Chill’ and instead offers his dates a chance to ‘Disney+ and Thrust.' Th

What's your big three?

When we talk about relationships, it feels like people are usually discussing ones of the romantic variety. But there are many other types of relationships. The relationship you have with your toilet, for example. Or your friendships, the people who are your blood family, or perhaps your chosen family. I, personally, have a relationship with my coworkers. It's usually positive. But we have our little ways of communicating with side-eyes, smiles, and sometimes the odd eye-roll that lets us know…

Jealous partners are one of the most common tropes when we discuss toxic relationships and bad partners. There are the jealous types who are controlling and don't want their lovers to have any friendships or relationships other than the romantic partnership they're already in. There are the types who behave like conspiracy theorists, convinced that when you don't text back you MUST be in someone else's DMs. There are also the ones who stalk, combing over their partner's internet presence lookin…

It's excruciating

This one's for the books.