Twitter is like an uber-productive and relatively consistent joke factory. It's true that some of the time it churns out some real annoying crap that we try to avoid, but we can usually find some clever jokes, hot takes, and surprisingly astute shower thoughts at any point while doomscrolling through the app. Globally, there are over 206 million people who use Twitter daily , so the constant flow of content can feel kind of daunting, but that's why we curate some of the funniest and freshest tw…

People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

Gotta chase episode 3 of 'The Last of Us' with some good 'ole funny Ron Swanson from 'Parks and Recreation' memes.

What do you say after any inconvenience? "That's just show biz, baby!"

Every morning I wake up to my iPhone's alarm and proceed to do all my silly little tasks until 9 pm when the cycle starts over again. When I was a kid, I had no idea how much of my day would be filled with annoying responsibilities. Feeding the cat is one thing, but I never thought I'd spend so much of my precious time wiping down surfaces. Whoever made those damn wipes was a genius. A genius, who unlike me, is probably free from the shackles of a 2-hour commute. Or, you know, dead. Anyway. The…

Aww, yeah, it's Monday (again)! Our favorite day of the week, baby. As we've intimated a million times before, as arbitrary as time is, and as predictable as Monday is, it simply doesn't get any easier. The prospect of five days of drudgery can be pretty demoralizing, especially when you hate your job, are underpaid, and feel disrespected on the regular. But we digress. As terrible as Mondays are, and as much as we may dislike obeying the old five-day workweek, there are plenty of tools at our/…

Spot on

Happy Sunday, freaks and weirdos. Does anyone else feel the " Sunday Scaries " looming over their shoulder? I'd like to say that it "couldn't be me," but alas. Even when your job involves scrolling through (and judging) internet things that are supposed to be funny, Monday isn't exactly a day I look forward to. Only an hour before I started typing this I was flabbergasted by the fact that it was already the ass end of the week. And that's largely due to the fact that Saturday was a blur of near…

Thirteen years after James Cameron's ambitious Avatar was released, people are finally getting to enjoy (or rag on) the film's long-awaited sequel, Avatar: The Way of Water. The film, which reunites us with the friendly and unfriendly faces of Jake Sully, Neytiri Sully (did she take his name?) and Colonel Quaritch cost a whopping 250 million dollars to make. It's already raked in almost a billion dollars since its release - an impressive number to be sure. Figures like this always get us wonder…

The end of the weekend can be difficult. Especially after a holiday weekend. Our energy is usually at an all-time low (at least it is on our Sundays) and almost any form of inane entertainment will keep us enraptured enough to forget about Monday's impending doom and the anxiety of heading back to work. You can turn on the television and get sucked into some series about a serial killer, or some wartorn country, and actually feel pretty good about your current station. Especially after you've e…

Is anyone else getting completely obliterated by the stress of the holiday season? I just looked at my bank account and I'm quaking in my boots. How is it that I've made certain to remain within my gift-giving budget and yet I'm dead broke? I think next year I'm just going to bake everyone cookies and send them via Fed-Ex so that I can stay home and enjoy the holidays by myself, like a proper Scrooge . Anyway. The world doesn't stop for my stress, and you know what? That's a good thing. The hol…

What did he expect?

Nothing says “relatable” like showing off your billion dollar home and appliances that only 1% of the world can afford!…

"Put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it!"

Greetings, friends. There's no denying it. As I'm sure my fellow users of the world wide web can attest to, hell is upon us. No, we're not talking about Donald Trump being allowed on Twitter. We're talking about the madness of Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Say what you will about Covid-19, but I was perfectly happy to sit at home, with friends, enjoying a big meal, maybe a bigger amount of wine, and some happy conversation. The years of Friendsgiving were marvelous. No overly concerned grannie…

It isn't easy to articulate just how much of a fan of South Park I was as a tween. When I tell you I was obsessed, it doesn't even begin to cover how much I loved this program. I had a tin South Park lunchbox. I wore a recreation of Kyle's hat during the wintertime. I even wrote a parody of the hit song Call Me Maybe to make it about South Park. I loved that South Park exposed me to different current events that I was too young to have been aware of at the time. I was pretty smug walking around…