Make like a meme and f*ck off

That tight feeling in your chest is ALMOST like a hug from yourself.

Prime.

Whenever my brain isn't operating at its most optimal level, I find it helps to take frequent breaks. The brain needs chill and restorative time to start working to its best ability, even if the best is a pitiful, nearly vegetative hum. You can't be overdoing it by reading a book or trying to learn Spanish with the help of a dumb app. No, it's during these desperate and mind-numbing moments that we turn to memes. Let's face it: Most memes don't require a lot of intellectual ability. And they're…

Mother nature stay playing the Uno Reverse card on NYC...

THEY TOOK OUR JERBS!

Twitter is like an uber-productive and relatively consistent joke factory. It's true that some of the time it churns out some real annoying crap that we try to avoid, but we can usually find some clever jokes, hot takes, and surprisingly astute shower thoughts at any point while doomscrolling through the app. Globally, there are over 206 million people who use Twitter daily , so the constant flow of content can feel kind of daunting, but that's why we curate some of the funniest and freshest tw…

People who don't go to standup shows think that standup comedy is an incredibly cool art form. These fools believe that only the most hilarious and intelligent people can do standup, and anybody who does it must be a comedic genius. Luckily for them, they are 100% incorrect! Standup comedy shows are breeding grounds for humiliation and failure. Most of the people who do standup are not very good at it. If you ever want a surefire way to feel good about yourself, go to an open mic in a midsized…

It's well-documented that alcohol is not exactly good for you. Sure, there have been numerous studies that red wine is good for the heart, or that it's good for the brain, or “keeps you young.” But I don't take those studies seriously. As an enjoyer of alcohol, and a temporary abstainer, I know the damage that booze can have on one's mental health, physical health, and relationships. In my case, it's been difficult to go without a stiff reward for a long day, or a couple glasses of wine while s…

Gotta chase episode 3 of 'The Last of Us' with some good 'ole funny Ron Swanson from 'Parks and Recreation' memes.

What do you say after any inconvenience? "That's just show biz, baby!"

Every morning I wake up to my iPhone's alarm and proceed to do all my silly little tasks until 9 pm when the cycle starts over again. When I was a kid, I had no idea how much of my day would be filled with annoying responsibilities. Feeding the cat is one thing, but I never thought I'd spend so much of my precious time wiping down surfaces. Whoever made those damn wipes was a genius. A genius, who unlike me, is probably free from the shackles of a 2-hour commute. Or, you know, dead. Anyway. The…

What happens when you mix a teaspoon of innocent first world anarchy with cringey people of the internet? They're called mad lads. A mad lad, or madlad, is defined as follows by Know Your Meme: “Mad Lad , also spelled Madlad , is a slang term that is used to describe someone doing something that is crazy and unexpected, but can also be used in a sarcastic manner for someone doing something that is not hard to do or crazy — sharing similarities to the lol so random meme. The term is commonly use…

Aww, yeah, it's Monday (again)! Our favorite day of the week, baby. As we've intimated a million times before, as arbitrary as time is, and as predictable as Monday is, it simply doesn't get any easier. The prospect of five days of drudgery can be pretty demoralizing, especially when you hate your job, are underpaid, and feel disrespected on the regular. But we digress. As terrible as Mondays are, and as much as we may dislike obeying the old five-day workweek, there are plenty of tools at our/…

When I was a kid I used to sit in my basement and watch the same damn movies over and over again. Pocahontas, Wild America, Independence Day, The Goonies, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy (okay, that's three movies, but I'm counting it as one). It's true that we had the internet , but as far as I was concerned, watching LOTR for the hundredth time was way more appealing than sitting around for several minutes waiting for the dial-up to do its thing so that I could continue downloading "track00…

Twitter is a wild place. For one, it can be an incredibly toxic place. The anonymity that the internet provides is something of a blanket to sinister types who live to antagonize strangers. The trolling, and even straight-up bullying, is everywhere. So why exactly do we spend so much time on the godforsaken site? It could be because we're masochists. But it could also be because there's actually some good mixed in amongst the vitriol. The good comes in the form of clever tweets from comedians (…