Spring has sprung

Slaloming my way through these memes

Can we just cancel work today?

'tis the season for wearing a blanket around your shoulders like an aging king looking down on his kingdom

Winter is coming!

Oh, that's not...

It's chilly in here

It's difficult for me to tell when something is unique to the midwest or if it's something everybody does. Sure, vocal tics like "ope" are stereotypically midwestern, but I find it hard to believe this is solely a feature of that region. I don't think I'd be laughed out of the room in New York or Texas if I said, “I'm just going to squeeze right past you,” but most non-midwesterners would opt for a simple, “excuse me" (or “pardon me” in Texas). One thing that I cannot stand by is the assertion…

Why Punxsutawney Phil? Why?

Oh, Canada! It might not be my home and patriot land, but it is glorious and free! On behalf of all Americans, I'd like to apologize to the Canadian public for what South Park has done to your people. I've done my research, and I'm now confident that South Park's depiction of Canadians as beady-eyed, flapping-headed people is nothing but hearsay. Even though I will be a Terrance and Phillip stan until I die and defend Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus till the cows come home, I unders…

Time to embrace the ennui.

Aww.