cia

It's the first week of 2021, and if the CIA had rebranding on their list of resolutions, they can cross that sh*t off. The spy agency unveiled their new website design today, and it looks, well, pretty familiar. That could be because it resembles a Berlin rave poster, or maybe because it's also strangely similar to the oft-copied art of Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures. Either way, the design job simply aches of the agency's yearning for fresh blood and diverse operatives. It's a look we have yet to see from dry and dull government agencies. But this departure from the bureaucratic design of yore seems to be a bit too intense for the critics of Twitter. The rebrand is now the subject of a whole lot of scathing (and witty) commentary. Most of the humor lies in the niche intersections of art, music, and geography, but we're pretty sure at least some of these tweets will register to your brain as "funny" or "true." And hey, maybe their design will convince you to aid in a coup or two of your own. 

We've got another dank collection of memes full of educational jokes and history humor. These memes span over many centuries for those looking for a spicy joke about the Munich Agreement or maybe a good Crassus gag. Not gonna lie, we had to google the context of some of the more obscure ancient Rome memes, but that's part of what's so fun about these. Accidentally learning something new just to get the punchline? We'll take it. 

Over the past few weeks cities all around the United States have been reporting an increase in fireworks. And it's quickly becoming clear that murmurs on Twitter aren't just hearsay or the result of quarantine-induced noise sensitivity. According to Gothamist, fireworks complaints in New York City have increased by a whopping 230% since last year. And Twitter users have begun theorizing that the increase may actually be due to something more sinister. 

The most widely circulated theory right now is that the increase in fireworks leads back to the police, or even that the CIA is supplying fireworks to rowdy teens as a sort of psychological operation to deprive citizens of sleep and desensitize them to the sounds of warfare. One such thread comes from writer Robert Jones Jr., who tweets as Sons of Baldwin. Other conspiracy theories suggest that police are supplying and setting off fireworks and ignoring complaints to make themselves feel needed in the wake of calls to defund them. And there's been a lot of weird police activity that backs up this attitude - take this bizarre show from police vehicles in Harlem - at 3am. 

While some of the tweets we've been seeing mock and meme the theories, they're being taken seriously enough to inspire inquiries from investigative journalists and have even led to a writer having to apologize for retweeting speculation on the matter. Many people seem to think the explanations are a simple combination of inexpensive surplus fireworks (due to Covid-19 cancellations) and, well, let's face it: fireworks are fun. And while the theories may seem far-fetched, they're a hell of a lot more entertaining than anything pertaining to 5G. So we're happy to watch the truth unfold - whatever it may be. 

In case you were in the mood to feel a little more unsettled than you already were, here are twenty dank memes to remind you that literally every single one of us is being watched at every second of every day. Now browse through the memes and have fun sleeping tonight!

WARNING: These aren't your basic b*tch relatable memes. These dank memes are for the true heads, the Area 51 stormers and the Minecraft aficionados.