This one's for y'all

RIP AOL chat rooms

I think I know more about American Girl Dolls than you do, genius, and I really do mean that! I was an American Girl Doll stan as a child, and even though I haven't fully gotten to the adult doll collector stage of life, I wouldn't be surprised if I get there at some point. I spent many moons thumbing through the American Girl catalog as a kid, imagining what it would be like to have an ice cream bar for my doll for only $250! Even though I loved the Girl of The Year dolls and the look-alike do…

While it's true that lying is generally bad, it's also true that some lies are so inane, so ridiculous, and so detailed, that the entertainment factor pretty much absolves the fibber of sin. When I was a kid I would write personal essays that were filled with lies so obvious (No, I never actually worked at a tiger preserve in China) that it's a miracle I got all As. Perhaps my teachers admired my creativity, or gave me points simply because they had something entertaining to read in the teacher…

If you recognize any of these, it's time for an eye cream

Things will never be the same

Clearly our fears have shifted

At least we can laugh at them.

Is adulthood feeling remorse?

As a kid with super-strict parents, sleepovers were absolutely necessary for me to catch a glimpse at how normal households worked - a chance to enjoy the privileges that other kids had. Eating junk food was a luxury for me, and all my friends parents seemed to fill their cabinets with food my mother would call garbage. Pop tarts. “Sugar cereal.” I was besotted with frozen pizzas and french fries. Of course, sleepovers were also an opportunity to get into trouble. My friends either didn't have…

I remember dissecting my owl pellet like it was yesterday. I was in 4th grade and I was sick at home with the chickenpox. I'd been really looking forward the owl pellet project and so when I caught my little sister's infection, I was super bummed out. My best friend at the time was nice enough to offer bringing a pellet and tools to my house so that I could do mine at home. My mom was reluctant at first, but she gave in. It was for science, after all. Feverish and covered in bright red pox, I j…

Getting in trouble is usually a normal part of growing up. Sometimes kids get in trouble for mouthing off in school. Calling a teacher fat, pulling a prank in class, or simply distracting everyone else until whoever's in charge absolutely loses it. Sometimes, kids get in trouble for their actions at home. This is more common with strict families , like my own. When I was in high school my mother wouldn't allow me a key, or to see friends after school. It led to me sneaking out at night, and whe…

Deeply strange.

Kids commenting on YouTube = comedy gold

Everyone has to grow up. It's one of the few experiences we all share, no matter where we're from or how our backgrounds might differ. It's no wonder some of the most beloved films of all time are coming-of-age stories that deeply resonate with youth and wistful adults alike. The 400 Blows came out in 1959, and yet it's still a timeless window into childhood that's no less relevant today. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is about as aesthetically 80s as it gets, but the desire to ditch school for a day…

All. The. Cereal.