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Marriage, a House, and Kids or Being the Cool Uncle? Funny Tweets About Adulting on Your Own Terms

A happy woman leaves her office to pick up her kids, who do not exist.

Job seeker lies about having kids so she can leave the office whenever she wants 'like everyone else with kids'

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Childfree employee freaks out when coworker on maternity leave brings newborn baby to the office: 'New mothers cannot grasp that not everyone wants to see their child.'

Little girl stands in her bedroom dressed as a fairy princess

Stepdad constantly brings 6-year-old stepdaughter to his 29-year-old friend's house, even after he told him she's not welcome: 'We don’t want kids in our home.'

10-year-old girl smiles on the beach after her mom gives-in and lets her go on childfree girls trip to Cancun

Entitled mom announces she's bringing her 10-year-old daughter on a childfree girl's trip to Mexico, 1 week before the trip: 'We're not going to change the entire point of this trip just because of your inability to tell your kid no.'

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A baby eating a bowl of fruits

Mom cuts off childfree friend after she scolds her for letting her 20-month-old touch her bowl: 'She found it really unacceptable that my baby was touching her things.'

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'She wants [me] to pay thousands so she can use [my] kids as props': Mom refuses to pay $6000 to attend to her sister-in-law's wedding abroad when she finds out her 4 young kids aren't invited to the reception

Jesse Kessenheimer

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Childfree friends tell mom of a 12-day-old baby that she's spoiling her by holding her while she sleeps: 'How does one spoil a newborn baby???'

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Mom of 2 gets offended when childless friend calls her out on perpetual lateness: 'My other friends are on time despite having small children'

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Childfree 30-year-old refuses to babysit for sister with 3 kids under 7 after she tells her she doesn't know real stress: 'Did you really just call me a free trial version of a human being?'

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Childfree aunt refuses to allow 5-year-old and 7-year-old stay at her house in case they ruin her guest room, suggests her sister sleeps over and the kids don't: 'I like to keep the space adults-only'

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Childfree 24-year-old aunt refuses to babysit for her sister's energetic 2, 4, and 7-year-olds while she's working from home, gladly babysits her brother's calm 6-year-old twins: 'I can’t watch a difficult kid while I work.'

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Childfree woman takes 6 hour trip to see 3-year-old and 2-year-old nephews, gets chastised by sister for not loving them the same way as she and her husband: ' I have to tap out and recharge'

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'My wedding isn't a showcase for your new family': Entitled parents try to guilt-trip their friend into letting a newborn attend their childfree wedding, insisting they accommodate childcare against their will

Jesse Kessenheimer

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Husband pressures wife into having baby, freaks out when she admits she is struggling with their 7-month-old: 'I'm constantly exhausted'

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Man lets girlfriend berate 31-year-old sister-in-law for not having kids, protests when brother disinvites her from Thanksgiving: 'You two must be really good at being selfish"