D'aw

Some memes do not age well. Like an abandoned loaf of bread in the pantry, you can read their age in one foul sniff. They smell like 2012 and whatever sick place you were in life during the year of Call Me Maybe and twee. Many current memes read like a real who's who of modern online discourse. If you show these memes to people who have never been on Twitter, they be completely incomprehensible to them. The ideal meme does not fall into either one of those camps. Sure, sometimes you want to go…

Filling up the meme bowl

Cats are the bomb, but cats have their fair share of haters who can never keep it to themselves. These cat haters all have the same blanket excuses for disliking cats. One of these excuses is, "when you die, your cat will eat your dead body." Well, to that, I say, I'm glad she will. If my cat didn't gobble up my corpse in a desperate bid at survival, I would be disappointed, to say the least. But let's not think about that morbid side of cats. Let's think of positive things! Sunshine, rainbows,…

I don't know if any social media will ever die yet live on so positively in people's memories as Vine has. The iconic quotes from Vine (I don't even have to list them for you to know them) have stayed within the internet cultural consciousness for years since the social media platform's untimely death seems to be emblematic of an internet culture lost to time. As much as I tolerate TikTok , I don't know if that app's trends will age as well as the late Vines. I'm nostalgic for the 2019 TikTok t…

Now this is content.

Every animal in the world will do two things: live and die. Disney's The Lion King (1994) illustrates this concept perfectly. One second, a monkey is introducing a baby lion into the world. Thirty minutes later, you're sobbing watching that baby lions father being trampled to death. That movie wasn't lying when it talked about the circle of life moving us all. If you love animals, you probably hate animals dying. I remember when the seminal film Marley and Me hit theatres, and animal lovers eve…

Pussy cat, pussy cat

I never thought it would happen to me. As a child I was taught to hate cats. My mom had some weird grudge, probably because she grew up with small dachsunds who could definitely die at the paws of even the prissiest house-dwelling feline. One day, however, she found a black cat in the backyard. She named her “Spooky Boo,” and was very obviously developing a fondness for the creature. Eventually, she discovered that the cat had five, maybe six kittens in our compost box. A smelly but warm and co…

Kitty O'clock

Y'ARG MATEYS! This be a pirate meme compilation. My name is Captain Craig (I know, it's a lousy pirate name…I'm working on it), and I have a tale of woe that's worse than swabbing the deck for fourteen fortnights or even walking the plank. Our fierce pirate crew decked our ship on a deserted island, knowing there was bound to be some hidden treasure afoot. Ye ship's trusty boatswain came upon a big red X, and we knew it would be easy sailing from here. Imagine my surprise when Scallyway Steve d…

In my humble opinion, the greatest song ever written is Gilda Radner's “ Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals .” In that tune, the original SNL cast member revealed some timeless truths about the animal kingdom. That song isn't really about being dirty or nasty or filthy. It's about camaraderie. Non-human animals don't want to be talked down to or patronized. Animals are people to, and they deserve to be talked to dirty just as much as anybody else. If you've never heard Gilda Radner tell an alligat…

More kitties

Let's face it: it's pretty damn easy to feel bummed when things get tough. Over the past few years, we've been looking for the proverbial light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. And each time we catch a glimpse of anything optimistic in the distance, it's canceled out by yet another terrible world event. At some point, you have to stop hoping that something good will happen and create positivity in the present. That can be done by making a list of things you're grateful for, indulging in a l…

They never get old

Nowadays, it's increasingly challenging to find memes for the whole family. Ten years ago, wholesome memes comprised a much more significant portion of the meme ecosystem. Unfortunately, that's no longer the case. Now, so many memes you come across are either depressing, catastrophizing, or just plain rude. Extremely online people might not think there's a market for solely wholesome memes. However, they'd be wrong! I can't tell you the number of people who tell me, “I only want to use social m…