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At first I didn't want to dance, so I was Haydn at the bar, but then I saw a girl I liked and figured it was time to Rachmaninoff. - Matty Malaprop

My friends told me this fair had to be seen to be believed, but I can't see anything at all! - Matty Malaprop

I mean, orange you a little worried that we're rushing into things to quickly? - Matty Malaprop

Uh... both?

The tumbler, on the other hand, would have no problems keeping the present you contained. - Matty Malaprop

He's like MC Hammer meets Soulja boy but British...