I have a confession to make…I used to not be the biggest fan of Virgos . I know, sue me! Call the coppers! Call the fire department. Call the secretary of state because, baby, I had a bad take. I think it often happens with amateur astrology fans that we meet one or two people of a specific zodiac sign that we don't like, and then we make blanket assumptions about that sign as a whole. I committed such a crime, and for that, I'm truly sorry to the Virgos out there. As part of my penance, I have…

This week, a crime against Virgos occurred that has been overlooked by the general population. Renowned singer, actress, dancer, and clothing designer Jennifer Lopez fired two of her dancers for the crime of being Virgos. The audacity of this woman is far too much. How could she discriminate against the Virgo community in this way? Doesn't she know that Virgo season is upon her, and the wrath of the Virgos is far more ravenous than any other zodiac sign ? You know who a Virgo? Beyoncé. Do you t…

The best thing about horoscopes is that you get a new one every day. I remember when I was a kid, I woke up early to eat breakfast, watch Full House, and read the newspaper with my dad. I would always go to the funnies section for compelling reruns of Peanuts and less-than-good iterations of Dennis the Menace. Next to the cartoons, there were also daily horoscopes. I loved reading my Libra horoscope, my dad's Scorpio horoscope, and the horoscopes of the rest of my family. As much as haters like…

Have you ever wondered what dog breed best represents your astrological sign ? Well, you've come to the right place. Dogs and zodiac signs are an interesting mix because if you got your dog from the shelter, you likely don't know their sign. You have to decide just by vibes whether your rottweiler is an Aquarius or a Scorpio. Spoiler alert, he's a Scorpio. Dogs have a different kind of birthday called “Gotcha Days,” which marks their adoption date. That's way more fun than a birthday could ever…

It's that astrological time of the week once again! Your day of rest is the perfect time to contemplate your place in the galaxy. Why not spend 6 hours staring at the wall and wondering what the stars have in store for you this week? What could go wrong? This week we are still in the thick of Leo season , which means we have more Leo season horoscopes hot and ready for you. If you were born in the other half of the year, check out your Leo season predictions in last week's horoscopes . Libra: Y…

We are officially in the thick of Leo season, and it feels so good. This time of year is accompanied by many things: record high temperatures, corny back-to-school advertisements, and of course, the celebrated births of those who emerged from their mother's womb between July 22nd to August 23rd. In celebration of this exciting month, here are some Leo Season Horoscopes for your pleasure. Aries: Pay attention during Leo season. A lot of little bugs will come out of the woodworks, and you should…

It's finally here, the moment all of us with Leo friends have been waiting for…it's Leo Season! Well, kind of. Although Leo season has begun on paper, if you were born July 19th-July 25th, you are actually on the Cancer Leo cusp, which means you have characteristics of both Cancer and Leo. Some famous Cancer/Leos are Jennifer Lopez, Woody Harelson, Selena Gomez, and Daniel Radcliffe. If you fall in this delicate space between these very different signs, you're in good company! Cancer Leo cusps…

Good morning starshine! The earth says hello! If you've clicked on this article, I have reason to believe you are an individual of the astrological persuasion. If so, welcome! This is a safe space for you. I never really understood why people were such haters of astrology. If you're a guy who has preemptively judged for your astrological sign by women, that could be an impetus for rage. But let's be honest: if you're an Aries , and your crush is a Cancer , and she rejects you because of that, y…

The “she’s a 10, but…’’ meme has blown up online over the past week. It originated as a game on TikTok, where friends would ask each other how a potential romantic partners attractiveness would be affected by certain qualities. For instance one person might say, “he’s a 6, but he gets his memes from Memebase” and the other person might respond, “he’s a 10.” Since it’s rise in popularity on TikTok, the meme format has made its way to Twitter, where countless iterations of the joke have been shar…

Over the past few days, Twitter has been inundated with a new joke format that you cannot escape, even if you tried! It goes like this: She/He's a 10, But [Insert Quirky Quality Here]. This meme is similar to a game I played with my friends in college called 10/10, where you would picture your 10/10 partner, but they had one wacky quality that someone in the group pitched. For instance, 10/10, but they shed their skin like a reptile every 12 hours. Once the group decided on a uniform abnormal t…

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Live long and prosper

Time for a little anarchy

People who write horoscopes are always flattering the reader with vague positivity and flowery compliments, often making astrology feel insufferably boring. What do the planetary alignments say about the fact that I'm an emotional wreck who habitually sabotages healthy relationships? That's what I want to know. Even most relatable astrology memes fail to realize the comedic potential of the format. Shitposter @nick_vyssotsky did a little astrological trolling with his series of zodiac signs as…

It's written in the stars

At this point we've all heard many a joke about white people and their resistance to using seasoning. And while I object to the stereotype (y'all should see my well-stocked spice rack) spices and herbs are no joke. There's nothing worse than biting into a mouthful of bland, whether it's flavorless chicken breast that may as well have been boiled, or vegetables that are sorely in need of, at the very least, a handful of salt. As much as we love the myriad spices available to humans thanks to the…