Also, Selena Gomez wraps herself in a blanket.

$2 million a year for this

I wasn't born yesterday, nor was I born in a period before the internet. I was born at just the right time when memes were readily available by the time I was functionally able to use the internet. I've lived and breathed memes ever since I learned to use a keyboard. Sure, my brain developed around the usage of the internet for entertainment, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love memes and they've been there for me longer than anything else. Surely, you feel the same way. You've decided…

For certain generations, Minecraft is a foundational part of childhood. Akin to learning to ride a bike or losing your first tooth, everyone remembers the first time they encountered a creeper. It's a bit hard to describe to older and younger audiences the initial phenomenon that was Minecraft . Think of it as you would Pokemon, Fortnite, or Roblox. Things that have dominated the lives and cultures of young people. Personally, Minecraft was the de facto franchise for my generation. I spent my m…

Your birthday. That special day of the year when to celebrate your existence, receive special treatment and discover just how many people care enough to wish you a happy birthday. I'm not a huge birthday person myself. I'm not the kind of person who likes a lot of attention, especially when that attention is unearned. I'm glad I was born, but every other person was also born at some point, so why celebrate it as if it's this incredible thing? That being said, it is nice to spend a day with thos…

We've got such geriatric vibes right now

Sage advice

Everything's much more annoying

Did she ask??

You're (probably) not at death's door

Youth does not last forever, and for many people, that is unforgivable. This week, Twitter user @thenorthmens went viral after posting two pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio: one in the 90s and one now, with the caption, “twink death is a terrifying thing.” If you didn't know, a twink is a slim, young, and hairless gay man. You might think, “but Leonardo DiCaprio does not fit into that category at any age!” You would be correct, but that matters very little to Twitter users. Twitter users will call…

Every morning I wake up to my iPhone's alarm and proceed to do all my silly little tasks until 9 pm when the cycle starts over again. When I was a kid, I had no idea how much of my day would be filled with annoying responsibilities. Feeding the cat is one thing, but I never thought I'd spend so much of my precious time wiping down surfaces. Whoever made those damn wipes was a genius. A genius, who unlike me, is probably free from the shackles of a 2-hour commute. Or, you know, dead. Anyway. The…

As a woman in her mid-thirties, the number of ads I get for anti-aging miracles is pretty preposterous. They even rival ads for egg-freezing services. Unfortunately, for most of my life, I've been largely ignorant of the importance of a solid skincare routine. Though my genetics have treated me well up til now, my skin is often dull, the fine lines are starting to form and I still get the occasional breakout. As the reality of my mortality and aging skin started nagging at me, I started dabblin…

The list is long

Oof

68 going on 25