Being an adult sounded great when I was like, thirteen. I had it all figured out: My best friend Jane and I would move into her uncle's cottage in England. He's a big-time director and owned Beatrix Potter's house. It was going to be amazing. Driving old range rovers around the estate, listening to the Cure and the Clash, and eating (and drinking) like queens. Judging by the fact that I'm living in a tenement here in Brooklyn, and she's living with her mother-in-law in New Jersey, things haven'…

Congrats to the Class of 2023!

Millennials . When we're not busy ruining the economy with our decadent avocado toast and otherwise utilitarian consumer behavior, we're tending to our 5k-follower shitpost accounts, wondering where we went wrong in life. Is this really all there is? The millennial thinks to herself as she stands in line at the local overpriced café. She consults her bank app as if it were a crystal ball, providing guidance on whether or not to go for that extra pastry. Then she goes off to her second freelance…

As a non-driver I don't expect to know much about the world of driving and automobile ownership. But there are some things I inherently understand. For example, I know that not enough people employ turn signals, and way too many people employ high-beam lights. Another thing I “get” is that leasing a car means you're essentially renting it long-term. Unfortunately for one TikToker , this knowledge eluded him, and he's now getting roasted to a crisp on Twitter after sharing a video about his shoc…

If you've spent any time on Twitter over the past couple of years, you're probably aware that the site's definition of “friendship” is kinda flawed.

When Gen Z decides to bring back styles from the early 2000's I better see some lacy layers, Love Spell, and like ✨no✨ eyebrows

'Ello

Jennifer Garner lied to us! When you turn 30, you will no longer be flirty OR thriving

The transactional friendship final boss

Hey, I'm talking to you. Yeah, you, smarty pants. I saw you across the bar, and I couldn't help but notice that your aura oozes intelligence. I am also an individual of the smart experience so I can easily perceive things like this. Let me guess, when you were in elementary school, you were often lauded as “above average.” Hey, so was I! Wasn't it so great being better than all of those average normie normal people? Those were the days. My senses are also telling me that as you've grown older,…

Every morning I wake up to my iPhone's alarm and proceed to do all my silly little tasks until 9 pm when the cycle starts over again. When I was a kid, I had no idea how much of my day would be filled with annoying responsibilities. Feeding the cat is one thing, but I never thought I'd spend so much of my precious time wiping down surfaces. Whoever made those damn wipes was a genius. A genius, who unlike me, is probably free from the shackles of a 2-hour commute. Or, you know, dead. Anyway. The…

Adulting isn't as fun as we thought it would be.

Is everyone thinking the same thing?

Adulting is hard.

For anyone feeling like they need a break from the real world

We've been through a lot of traumatizing historical events, please be nice to us...