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Jaw Dropping Thread Explains What It’s Like To Be Swallowed By A Whale

Move over, Jonah: there's a new sea creature horror story in town. Michael Packard is a Cape Cod lobster diver who had the experience of a lifetime last Friday when a standard dive ended with him being scooped into a whale's mouth.  In an incredible stroke of luck, he sustained only minor injuries after being spat out and pulled to safety by a fellow crew member.

After the story was picked up by national news, his son Jacob (aka Redditor u/bloxiefox) set up an AMA to discuss his astounding experience. It provided a fascinating insight into the event and revealed that his dad led a pretty interesting life outside of freak incidents with large marine mammals. Cue the jokes about getting him to pick lottery numbers.

whale, swallowing, accident, diver, scuba diver, lobster, wow, omg, saved, reddit, ama
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Cringey Lies From Internet Attention-Seekers

We've got to hand it to these people. While we've been struggling with writer's block, trying to cover the dumb shit that happens on the internet in a simple, yet reasonably thoughtful way, there are clearly plenty creative writers having an easy go of it. But don't let their details or specificity fool you - these people are masterminds of fiction. 

Though most of us would like to consume approach the world with less skepticism, the more time we spend on the internet the harder it gets. On Twitter there are hordes of parents fabricating stories about how their 2 year old is an emotional or intellectual savant. Anti-maskers celebrate highly dubious acts of rebellion. Influencers claim that women fall at their feet. Some of them are straight up seeking attention, or some validation to fill some kind of void in their souls. Others have more of an agenda. But they've all got one thing in common: being incredibly cringeyliars.  And we're here to share some of that cringe with you. 


Cringey liars, cringe, brazen, wtf, fail, wow, yikes
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You know how you hated learning square dancing in gym class? Well, now you have a good reason. Henry Ford forced schools to teach swinging your pardner round so he could fight against jazz (which he thought was invented by the Jews?). 

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Bad People Who Need A Double Dose Of Karma

Karma's a bitch. But karma is almost not enough of a punishment for these terrible people. From animal abusers to selfish murderers, these scumbags deserve to be punished - and hard. While shaming them online may not help them rehabilitate, we're here to acknowledge that there are a lot of people out there who need a serious talking to. Or, y'know, a lobotomy.

Bad people from the r/iamatotalpieceofshit subreddit, funny, yikes, fail, cringe | Dear Waitress sorry, but won't be looking eye today, because then have endure nose piercing, and piercings on ears, and those giant hoops make look like central Africa circa 500 AD think look disgusting, and don't want see tattoos either. Why don't quit marking yourself up and piercing yourself as if have low self- esteem while trying disguise as some sort style is lowest class style can go my book. Just bring my
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine Scene Inspires Aptly Dumb Memes About Low Bars

Fans of Brooklyn Nine-Nine may not have wanted it to be true, but the premiere date has been set for the comedy's final season: August 12th. That feels like an eternity from now, but while viewers wait for the beginning of the end, they've been able to enjoy some memes that are ripped straight from the show's 4th season. The scene involves Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) and Jess Day (Zooey Deschanel) meeting in a crossover episode between Nine-Nine and New Girl.  

In the episode, Peralta attempts to commandeer Jess' vehicle to . But she doesn't buy that he's even an officer. As Peralta tries to convince her of his occupation, they have the following exchange: 

Jake: "I'm not a thug, I'm police."
Jess: "Okay, then name one law."
Jake: "Don't kill people?"
Jess: (silently) "That's on me, i set the bar too low."

Turns out that the back and forth, when neatly packaged into a four-panel image, makes for easy meme-ing. We say easy because these are far from high brow image macros. Instead, they fulfill the theme of the joke by setting the bar real low. And attack some of the world's favorite books, movies, and actors in the process. 

Funny memes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and New Girl, That's on me, i set the bar really low
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Raunchy Leaked 'Powerpuff Girls' Script Is A Goldmine Of Cringe

As an elder millennial, the Powerpuff Girls,  were nearly as popular as the Spice Girls. Just like every group of friends had its own Baby Spice or Scary Spice, every group of girls had its own Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. The tough trio's antics and ass-kicking nurtured plenty of lifelong fans who look back fondly on the animated series. But while the nostalgia is pleasant, we can speak for ourselves when we say we never thought a live action version of the show was necessary, or even desired. 

It turns out the CW felt differently. And now, thanks to a leaked script, we can officially say that the internet agrees: we do not need a live action Powerpuff Girls show. And judging by the off-the-chart cringe of the leaks, we definitely don't need one that involves Juno's Diablo Cody.


While we're no prudes, the excerpts above are more than a little over-the-top. Leaked nudes? Buttercup having 6 rounds of sex with a woman she met the night before? The whole thing feels like the fruits of a bot that studied millennial twitter from 10 years ago. Like, who the hell keeps tabs on people using Linkedin?? Twitter users did not take kindly to the cringey attempt at a reboot. Especially after finding out that the script is real. We've put together some of the funniest reactions to the debacle. And we're pleased to say that the pilot was abandoned. While it's comforting to know that we won't be seeing this blasphemy come to fruition, we don't want you to get too excited: the CW has decided to go back to the drawing board. It might be a good time to take bets as to how bad they'll screw up next time. 


Cringe, Powerpuff girls leaked script, twitter reactions, tweets
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The entire Saw movie timeline explained in one convenient location by Jordan Breeding tied up in one, extremely inconvenient basement FULL OF TRAPS. Every movie from Saw I to the new Spiral movie gets covered. This is a brave effort. And one that makes...a lot of good points.

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Awkward TikTok Gets Dueted, Sparks The Most Insane Chain Of Events Possible

If there's one thing that everyone can learn from TikTok, it's that you should never underestimate the power of collaboration. This is doubly true when it comes to its duet feature, which has recently gained attention for taking users on a truly wild ride from start to finish.

Everything started when @marcus.dipaola posted a TikTok for his birthday, introducing his uncomfortable looking girlfriend to his followers. Someone dueted the video, jokingly suggesting she was being held hostage and well… what follows is a cinematic masterpiece.

tiktok, duet, chain, teamwork, movie, hostage, tv, superhero, police, wow
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'Apology Dinners' Are The Latest Concept To Perplex The Internet

In my family, apologies take time, and are delivered begrudgingly at best. They usually come in the form of a text, or an awkward exchange in a car or a doorway. These apologies end abruptly, with the issue swept under the rug for the victim to simply get over at their own pace. Normal, right? Well, today much of the internet learned about another form of apology. Instead of a simple back and forth with a loved one, apparently there are people who host "Apology Dinners." The concept was the talk of Twitter yesterday, for good reason.

In a now-deleted Reddit post, a user asked the r/AITA (Am I The Asshole) subreddit if they were in the wrong for organizing their sister's "apology dinner." The post (which was inspired by a much sadder apology dinner thread) goes through great effort to explain the concept of a potluck dinner, but carries on to the family drama without pausing to demystify this bizarre custom. After it was shared on Twitter,the tale went viral, inspiring many confused, surprised and critical reactions. 

While we're not sure we've ever met anyone who engaged in this kind of ritual, OP explains in a comment that they are from Romania, and that it's a common occurrence in their culture. Being that we've never been to Romania, we'll have to take their word for it. We'll also have to take some inspiration from the story to raise the bar for everyone who has ever wronged us. Next time I hear my roommate having sex, I'll expect him to feed me a lobster dinner. It's only fair.

Funny tweets about the existence of Apology Dinner, REDDIT, AITA, am i the asshole
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Twitter Users Share Funny & Fascinating Tales From Their Ancestry

If you go back far enough in your genealogy, chances are there are a few interesting stories that are worthy of being shared with family members, friends - or even Twitter. Yesterday, we were hit with the motherlode of ancestral anecdotes on the Bird App, thanks to Jamie Schler. In a viral tweet, the writer asked her fellow Twitter users to share their odd and cool tidbits of genealogical lore. And boy did the people deliver. The tales span centuries, from the Revolutionary War all the way to the misguided war in Vietnam. While they vary in tone (sad, funny, haunting), the stories share a common thread: being cool as hell. We've put a few of our favorite of the Twitter tales in this gallery, but you can take in a lot more fascinating tweets in the thread.

Twitter thread from @lifesafeast featuring stories from the ancesty and history, genealogy of other twitter users
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Weird & Dumb Things People Did While High

As our 4/20 programming comes to an end, we'd like to share some funny (and unfortunate) tales of the weird and dumb crap people do when they're high. It's true that many of us would like to think we're resistant to stoned stupidity, I'm sure a lot of our smokers have at least one specific story that makes them cringe a little. These examples range from understandably daft (losing one's phone in a back pocket) to incredibly disgusting (drinking piss). And we're willing to bet they'll be funnier while high. 

Stupid, funny, dumb, and weird things people did while high, stoned, smoking marijuana, bong rip, weed, 4/20
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Crazy Badass Storms Through Traffic Arm, Jumps Rising Drawbridge

Well, we've got a new candidate for Time's person of the year. Or at least the badassof the year. We just don't know their identity. 

In a move that can be described as "sick," "dope," and "really f*cking cool," an impatient driver in Daytona Beach, Florida, decided to take a risk and drive over a rising drawbridge instead of waiting with all the sheep who would prefer to abide by the law. The spectacle was caught on camera, and seriously looks like something out of an action movie.

While we were hoping this daredevil would come out of this scot-free, the stunt was not well-received by police, who believe they've identified our new hero. Though this may be the most talked about instance of Evel Knievel-ry, it seems like jumping over drawbridges is a "Florida Man" trait. A motorcyclist made the dramatic leap last month, and we've even seen footage of a dude running over a bridge with JUST HIS FEET. It's true that these shows of cojones are dangerous and sometimes deadly, so while we're celebrating this instance of success, we must urge you not to try this yourself. Thanks to the videos below, you can enjoy the thrill (and some entertaining reactions) from home. 

Funny and crazy video of dude in SUV jumping over a drawbridge in Daytona Beach, Florida
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24 Tales Of Supremely Terrible Dates

If you're looking for a reminder that there are a whole lot of weirdos in this world, look no further. Twitter user @NateIsBack2 has managed to round up some seriously insane stories after asking his followers to share the most awkward dates they've ever been on. While some of these recollections definitely fall into that category, other are straight up bone chilling and creepy. Especially the unexpected response from actress Patricia Arquette. On the bright side, the horror stories are a great reminder that you should really vet your date before committing to a night out or a relationship. 

Funny stories about awkward dates, bad dates, horror stories, dating, relationships, Patricia Arquette skateboarder, wow, lol
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People Share Heinous Work Stories They Wish Were Jokes

While some people spent April Fool's cataloguing all the brand jokes and PR stunts (ahem, Tubbycoin), DSA Cleveland decided to ask Twitter to share work experiences they wish were jokes. We're guessing that this had something to do with Amazon being under fire for their inhumane work conditions, but there's something about hearing horror stories from other industries that really puts things into perspective. The experiences range from absolutely heartless, to the kind of acceptable shamefulness that people experience every damn day. While we take no pleasure in sharing these bleak realities, it's kind of wrong to keep ignoring the f*ckery that we all deal with to pay the bills. 

Depressing twitter thread about bad work experiences, tweets, bad jobs, bad bosses
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Completely True Stories That Sound Fabricated

Some stories that exist out there sound like they're straight out of a movie. They can't possibly be true, right? Not so - writer Aidan Moher tweeted out the other day asking people to share their most unbelievable true stories, and let us just say...the people delivered.

Interesting Twitter thread of stories that sound fake but are actually true | tweet by MorganPielli Replying adribbleofink went Meetup people w/ social anxiety see Black Swan got there realized had no idea who there Meetup. Too shy ask around watched movie alone checked Meetup night turned out everyone else did same thing
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41 Memes For The Lifting Of Spirits

There are very few things in this world we can enjoy guilt-free. Food? Too much of a good thing and it will kill you. Drinks? They're a very slippery slope. Internet f*ckery? That can get you in trouble, too. But not with us. We're here to tempt you with memes. You know, some of that tasty, accessible humor that can get you in trouble with your boss, your loved ones that you're ignoring, or your parents. And it's completely free of charge. 

Funny random memes, dank memes, lol
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