I don't know who needs to hear this, but the perfect joke doesn't exi—(put a finger down if you've heard this one before). That's it. That's the tweet. Not the joke we deserve, but the joke that we need. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Sometimes the internet feels like a bunch of bots regurgitating the same tired jokes ad nauseam in every comment section known to man. Whether it's out of irony or not, it doesn't matter. It's not funny. Cut it out! If you're on the same page, then you'll pr…

Jump into the meme stream

Goodbye, 2022. As I write this I am nearly paralyzed (at least mentally) by the notion that another year has come and gone. Another shitty year, might I add. Looking back on 2022, I can't say that I've done anything of that much importance. Sure, I killed it at work and managed to keep my cats alive, but I didn't experience any milestones like getting married or having a kid - both of which the people on my Instagram and Facebook feeds seem to be doing with wild abandon. The truth is, I spent m…

Hope they'll recover from these sick burns

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne?” To that question, I say, “no.” This auld acquaintance song used to be the quintessential New Years Eve tune

What does it mean to be funny? I have been told I'm funny on occasion. Whenever I say a little quip or joke socially, it tends to get a laugh. I may or may not have devoted the last six years of my life to doing comedy and trying to be the funniest person I can possibly be. But does that all mean that I'm funny? It's a very subjective thing. One person might think I'm literally the funniest person alive, and another might think that I couldn't be more unfunny . Comedy is not objective, and that…

You've seen the memes, but where does the “ trolley problem ” come from? The trolley problem is a famous thought experiment in virtue ethics first conceptualized by philosophers Philippa Foot and Judith Jarvis Thomson between 1967 and 1976. There are many variations of the trolley problem, though most share a common dilemma: do you kill one person to save a larger number? Do you kill or let die? The simplest form of the trolley problem goes something like this, according to Merriam-Webster : “Y…

As we dive into the autumnal season, many people are excited about the approach of Halloween . While I enjoy dressing up and partying as much as the next person, fall just makes me dread Thanksgiving. Dry turkey aside, as a woman who is approaching the end of child-bearing age, Thanksgiving promises a host of older relatives asking me when my partner and are going to have children. And as broke New Yorkers, one of whom is in graduate school, that's not happening any time soon, if ever. We're pe…

2023 is my year

Do you want memes ? Well, let me tell you, you're going to get them. There's nothing more annoying than going on a Facebook page to find memes and finding nothing of the sort. Sure, these public groups with thousands of followers might have some memes, but mostly they have a whole bunch of nonsense. Sorry, Karen, nobody wants to see your seasonal recipe on a meme page! Why did some teen post 30 images of their bad digital art here? Is there nowhere sacred to just look for memes anymore? Actuall…

Roll for memes

Kids really do be thinking, "why wear gloves on hands when they fit perfectly fine on feet? Or pants on legs when they work great on head?"

Have you ever stopped to consider the sheer number of tweets, memes, and shitposts that are being exchanged on the world wide web? The number of memes floating around at any given time must be ccmpletely staggering. Just think: thousands, if not millions, of image macros are being sent between friends, and maybe even enemies, any given moment, making their way to the screens of world-weary web surfers such as yourselves. The variety of memes that are sashaying around the web is just as wide. Bu…

What was Helga in 'Hey Arnold's big secret? Only millennials know the answer.

These days, going on the internet often feels like you're stuck in a machine specifically designed to make you have a bad time . The algorithm shows you content guaranteed to make you mad; sure enough, you read it, get angry, and post about it more, feeding into the monster. One would think that eventually, you'd have a bad enough time just to quit these hostile social media platforms altogether, but the anger they induce gets addicting. It is fun to be outraged, especially when you're outraged…

Don't you EVER let anybody make you think you only deserve one combo-present for your b-day and the holidays.