Look at those little faces

It’s very easy to have a knowledge of Animal Kingdom on a very superficial level. You go to your local zoo, you see the zebras, and you think you know something. If you’re a regular viewer of Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel, you might feel a little bit superior to the rubes who called themselves the next Steve Irwin. Unfortunately, neither of these groups truly compare to the real hobbyists. Do you know the kinds of people we can look at a prehistoric fish thing and tell you it’s genus,…

Everyone finds their little way to rebel as a teenager. There was one point in 6th grade where my eyeliner was so black, thick, and around every crevice of my eyeball that it looked like I was about to put on a raccoon Halloween costume at any moment. Being a rebel becomes a less attainable identity when you're a fully grown adult. Things that were once deemed unacceptable and strange by your parents become much more normal. Like what, you're in your twenties and regularly frequent your local D…

Let's be honest…the landscape of memes right now can be kind of depressing . There are so many memes about catastrophic global events that they can be hard to avoid. What happened to the good old days, when wholesome and fun memes ran this town? I don't want to see vaguely humorous pictures bemoaning the backbreaking reality of American hegemony. I want to see pictures of funny birds. I don't want to see a TikTok breaking down every single solitary unethical thing that some random micro-influen…

As you move through this world, you will meet some divas with such an insatiable zest for life that it's hard even to conceptualize what it's like to live inside their brains. This attitude can be cute…until it is annoying. There's a delicate balance between having a genuinely positive attitude and trying to force niceness into every situation despite its appropriateness. The latter option is passive aggression, the most toxic positivity man ever invented. If you don't take it too far, having a…

Toe beans not included

A real bonding experience

Have you ever lied on your resume, saying you were “proficient in Excel?” I have a theory that at least 55% of people who put “proficient in Excel” on their resumes are bold-face liars. Because what is proficiency, really? Proficiency is a journey, not a destination! Do we all just wake up one day and realize that we've crossed the threshold of proficiency

The highly anticipated cyberpunk cat game has launched and—surprise, surprise—the internet is obsessed. It's only been a week since the release of Stray and fans are already memeing and modding the game like crazy. While most normal people are using mods to make their character look more like their own IRL cat, the deviants and trolls of gaming are creating some pretty cursed mods, including one that allows you to play the game as a hideously cat-shaped CJ from GTA: San Andreas, and another tha…

Cats are weird. They are way more mysterious than their canine counterparts, and have a lot more attitude. While they have a reputation for being cold and calculated, that's hardly the reality. While it's sometimes true, my cats are total freakazoids. They have weird rituals , pile up fake mice as gifts on the foot of my bed, wrestle, sit in strange places. The best is when they stare at walls. What the hell are they seeing that I'm not?? Anyway. My cats are far from the only exception to tired…

Meow

What is a meme , really? Memes used to be a particular series of image macros that took over internet culture during the 2000s. These days, however, a meme is a much broader way of categorizing online content. Does a meme have to be made up of pictures and text? Must it be something that can be replicated in different forms, like how Bad Luck Brian was a consistent image with different white text every time? Does a meme belong to everyone or the person who created it? Is there any ethical way t…

Some memes are just better than others. There's a conspiracy theory amongst older generations that because millennials were given participation trophies, they feel like they are way better than they actually are. Boomers fail to realize that kids could, and still can, tell the difference between an award everyone got and one they earned. For instance, when I was in high school, I won the award “Most Likely To Fall Off Of The Risers” in choir class. I wish I could tell you that earning this most…

We are staunchly in the summertime , which means there's no escape from the indomitable orb of the sun and the atmosphere's various strategies of humidifying. Remember, this isn't the hottest summer of your life; it's the coldest summer of the rest of your life. While summertime might be the seasonal favorite of many, I tend to prefer autumn. My favorite thing about September, October, and November is guessing what will be seasonally appropriate to wear. Every day is a different story, resultin…

Do you ever realize that life is like…kind of bad ? Well, what are you going to do about it? Rotting in your room and wasting away playing Yahtzee is always an option until you realize that marinating in your filth is not a long-term solution to anything. The grass always feels greener on the other side. When you have a job, you wish you didn't. When you're unemployed, you are freaking out trying to become employed. Nothing seems to go the way you want it to until it does. Every day, you are ju…

It's IT time! I know what you're wondering: Do you mean IT, the classic Stephen King novel and 2017/2019 films about clowning gone wrong? Absolutely not, you stupid baby! It's IT time as in, the actually important IT, which stands for Information Technology . Now I will be honest with y'all. I am not a diva of the IT or computer science persuasion. I am merely a humble former English major hoping that the STEM kids in the room accept these memes into their hearts. Even if I don't fully understa…