Some memes are just better than others. There's a conspiracy theory amongst older generations that because millennials were given participation trophies, they feel like they are way better than they actually are. Boomers fail to realize that kids could, and still can, tell the difference between an award everyone got and one they earned. For instance, when I was in high school, I won the award “Most Likely To Fall Off Of The Risers” in choir class. I wish I could tell you that earning this most…

We are staunchly in the summertime , which means there's no escape from the indomitable orb of the sun and the atmosphere's various strategies of humidifying. Remember, this isn't the hottest summer of your life; it's the coldest summer of the rest of your life. While summertime might be the seasonal favorite of many, I tend to prefer autumn. My favorite thing about September, October, and November is guessing what will be seasonally appropriate to wear. Every day is a different story, resultin…

Do you ever realize that life is like…kind of bad ? Well, what are you going to do about it? Rotting in your room and wasting away playing Yahtzee is always an option until you realize that marinating in your filth is not a long-term solution to anything. The grass always feels greener on the other side. When you have a job, you wish you didn't. When you're unemployed, you are freaking out trying to become employed. Nothing seems to go the way you want it to until it does. Every day, you are ju…

It's IT time! I know what you're wondering: Do you mean IT, the classic Stephen King novel and 2017/2019 films about clowning gone wrong? Absolutely not, you stupid baby! It's IT time as in, the actually important IT, which stands for Information Technology . Now I will be honest with y'all. I am not a diva of the IT or computer science persuasion. I am merely a humble former English major hoping that the STEM kids in the room accept these memes into their hearts. Even if I don't fully understa…

Let's be honest. You need a laugh; I need a laugh. We all need to laugh a little bit more. We can't keep rewatching the same three seasons of Strangers With Candy until we die to get the last few giggles out of our usually unamused husks of bodies. Laughter is a force of healing, and if we don't do it enough, we're going to shrivel up and die. There are only so many 22-minute comedies you can consume in one day, especially if you are a person of the employed persuasion. Those 22-minute comedies…

It is wild that nearly every kid I knew wanted to be an animal scientist or a marine biologist when they grew up. I guess it makes sense since animals are one of the four interests children consistently have across generations: animals, books, sports, and pink. If you meet a kid that doesn't possess at least one of these interests, you have just met an individual in the 99th percentile of uniqueness. Kids and adults love animals, and I don't blame them. Animals love you unconditionally unless t…

Memes, memes, memes. There are so many out there in the world, and simply not enough hours in the day to take them all in. Wouldn't it be swell if we were like those people on the spaceship in WALL-E , required to do nothing all day but be pumped up with media and snacks? Allegedly, my dad's distant cousin was the guy who was the inspiration for the evil captain in WALL-E, but that's neither here nor there. If that's the most famous person I am related to, I am pretty content with that. But all…

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Let's cut to the chase. We know why you're here. You want 30 hilarious memes of various subject matters injected into your bloodstream immediately. Well, if that's the case, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions. Where were you the night of June 28th? Haha, I'm just kidding. I know exactly where you were. These memes contain some pretty classified information. Only really advanced people like the Pope and Marina Ambromovic can see these. You might say this isn't your average list of rand…

Good evening, good afternoon, and goodnight. You're here right now, but you're also nowhere and everywhere. Isn't that super coconuts? Listen, I'm going to be honest with you all. I've got a really sick, sad case of the Mondays. No offense, but how could you not? It's another five-day week and one of the many five-day weeks to come. The International Day of Labor is nearly two months away, which is a bit too long for my liking. In the meantime, we've got a long list of Mondays to look forward t…

Hear ye! Hear ye! I be the town crier, and I have news of many merriments! Firstly of all, you are alive and not dead. That is a spectacular feat, considering how the world is during these times. These times can be mid, these times can be evil, and they are beyond capable of being both! Your status as a fully conscious human being is the good news. The bad news is that we are in the cold, cruel midst of a medieval peasant famine. But no need to fret, dear citizens. The king has been gracious en…

There's nothing better than spending your Wednesday night at a fine dining establishment such as the Golden Corral. I don't mean “fine dining” in the traditional sense, but “fine dining” in that you will have such a brutally average, filling, and affordable experience that you have no choice but to come back again and again. An all-you-can-eat buffet-style restaurant gives you opportunities that an establishment like IHOP will never be able to offer. You can mix and match the cuisines of the wo…

Memes are one of those things that are easy to accept into your heart. Whether hilarious, disgusting, life-affirming, or otherwise, memes come and go so quickly, making them a ubiquitous part of our everyday lives. You might see a meme one day and never see it again as long as you live. On the other hand, some memes stay with you forever and ever despite your desire to let them evaporate into the annals of your subconsciousness, never to be seen again. One of the best things about memes is that…

Cats are one of the most remarkable animals ever invented. I didn't grow up with a cat myself, but I was a massive fan of the most famous cat in the world, Garfield . Garfield is a cat with no job, and yet he hates Mondays. He loves lasagna, sleeping, and being a menace to everyone he meets. As I grow older, I'm becoming much more of a Garfield than I used to be. When I was a baby, I was Odie: a creature who couldn't speak but is just happy to be alive. When I was a kid, I was Nermal: young and…

Not all websites are straightforward beacons of great content. With many forms of social media, whether Twitter , Tumblr, or Reddit , it sometimes feels like it takes years of feed curation to get to the good stuff. Who and what are you supposed to follow to find the good content on those platforms? I've found that following people with similar tastes but some notable quirks or personality traits you don't necessarily relate to is ideal. When I was on Tumblr as a kid, I followed a bunch of peop…

Are you tired? Do you want to go back to bed? Are you a sleepy baby who doesn't want to go to your pathetic little job? Well, you don't have to! After all, you're a baby, with no responsibilities or bills or cleaning or anything to do except for consuming media. In fact, it looks like you're on the fast track to becoming an iPad baby. Do you know what an iPad baby is, you ignorant infant? An iPad baby is a gross toddler who can't look away from their filth-encrusted tablet for one second, even…