pencil
Watch the pencil... Poof! It's gone. Luckily you can just erase anything you don't like and mark the jokes you do. That's the beauty of a pencil.
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18-year-old homeschool graduate can't sound out words or do basic addition: 'She couldn't calculate 50% of $30. She couldn't count to 30 at her fast-food job.'
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Man's brother visits his home for Labor Day and brings his new wife and 9-year-old stepson, who disrespects him the entire visit and throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way: ‘As guests, there is a level of conduct and respect they need to follow’
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Dad scolds aunt for buying her 12-year-old niece 2 pairs of glasses and contact lenses because he can't afford them for her or his 4 stepchildren: 'He’s sick of me and Haley rubbing her stuff in her step-siblings' faces.'
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22-year-old demands unemployed boyfriend go back to his parents' house while she works, takes care of the house, and cares for 14-year-old sibling: 'For 11 months I have paid every single house bill'
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30+ of the Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (September 4, 2025)
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