you

No, seriously, this comic is my life. And my middle name is STEVEN. GET OUT OF MY HEAD COMIC CREATOR!! - Matty Malaprop

I never want to spend another Mennonite without you ever again! - Matty Malaprop

I will simply never understand how that song became a hit(ler) single... - Matty Malaprop

It's conversations like this that ultimate torah their family apart. - Matty Malaprop

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Seriously, just don't. I can assure you that you definitely DO NOT want to double the Fines of Moria.

But you know what isn't amiable? THE F*ING WATERMARK IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS VIDEO GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! - Matty Malaprop

I feel like this pun could have been better if it had featured phalluses and Willem Dafoe, but maybe that's just me. - Matty Malaprop

If you keep working toward your goals, I'm sure everything wool turn out just fine! - Matty Malaprop

And so often I feel that lying and deceit are just direct side effects of that sinful thing called pride. - Matty Malaprop