wood

In Flint, Mich., every criminal eventually succumbs to interrogation and leaves the police station as nothing more than tinder to feed the fire of corruption. - Matty Malaprop

Well maybe if your schedule was a little more flexible you could have a little more fun... - Matty Malaprop

Obviously the pastor's name is Harold, and the deceased's is Maude. - Matty Malaprop

Look at these two, lumbering their way through a totally insignificant birch-fest.

... sorry, that was terrible AND non-sensical. I just don't know that many tree-related puns... :( - Matty Malaprop