warning

His cold misanthropy is just a property of his brain chemistry, I suppose. - Matty Malaprop

Most sharks aren't particularly picky about what they eat, but sometimes their limits are rather finite. - Matty Malaprop

But I'm fairly certain this particular piece leaves very little to the imagination. - Matty Malaprop

One of them murders innocent children and keeps your hands cozy and warm. The other is actually called a birdie and is loved by many many high school athletes in Hong Kong. The line's a little blurry, really. - Matty Malaprop

And he's a downright saint, to boot! Why, just last week he helped my mother repot her begonias in the parlor! - Matty Malaprop

A bit disturbing, but truthful all the same. - Matty Malaprop

Man, the simplicity of google has really been the armpits for people who like to ask riddles. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously guys, keep this stuff out of your fridge, or all of your produce will be ruined forever! - Matty Malaprop

Source: Left-Handed Toons

Because any excuse to post clips from "Rocko's Modern Life" is the best excuse. - Matty Malaprop

When you spend all your waking hours staring at a monitor, it's really only a matter of time before your head becomes a flat screen. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously though, what makes a guy just up and RAM another human being with a bulky, glass-laden object? - Matty Malaprop