twist

This post is sponsored by M. Night Shyamalan. #notreallybutyouknowwhatimean - Matty Malaprop

But just because you can typify them, it doesn't mean you can make non-standard poodles not suck at absolutely everything. Because they do. Yeah. Fin. - Matty Malaprop

Ah, the ol' second amendment word order switcheroo. I didn't see that one com-OH WAIT YES I DID. - Matty Malaprop

The Beatles: Rock 'n' roll prophets or prophets for the end of days? - Matty Malaprop

But what are you then, pray tell, if you're part of the solvent? - Matty Malaprop

Listen, I'mma be honest here; if having a moral opposition to long-distance running is wrong, then I never ever want to be right. - Matty Malaprop

And I go to the beach to stare at lovely mammaries. Now get off your high horse. - Matty Malaprop

At least it's not the dunce belt! That's your brother's burden to bear. And seriously, it is, because that thing weighs like 47 pounds. - Matty Malaprop

I think it speaks for itself.

This is truly the work of a bergeoning punsmith. - Matty Malaprop

And it should come as a surprise to no one that they're milking the mission for all its worth from a public opinion perspective. - Matty Malaprop

... and behind that man is soon to be ex-girlfriend. - Matty Malaprop