tree

Strangely, though it lacks sentience, a number of scientists have found it quite easy to bond with. - Matty Malaprop

You can use a joke like this time and again, but its humor value will always be evergreen. - Matty Malaprop

YES I'M AWARE IT'S AN EVERGREEN AND THE ASH IS DECIDUOUS BUT COME ON NOW DAT SPRUCE JUST SOUNDS SILLY IF YOU ASK ME. - Matty Malaprop

Transfiguration is cool and all, but I woodn't be so happy about becoming a thing for people to sit on if I was this tree. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe I'm just too cynical to appreciate love, but I've always felt like weddings are simply mulch ado about nothing. - Matty Malaprop

I'm so jealous of trees. They always seem to foli-age so beautifully! - Matty Malaprop

I have nothing against the mentally insane, but I really don't think there's a chance in hell that he and I could ever be fronds. - Matty Malaprop

Just make sure you cover it during the rainy season, lest you want it to become an electricitree. - Matty Malaprop

Wow, he's really spruced up now isn't he? - Matty Malaprop

Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop