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I'd congratulate your for you punmanship but I'm too busy giggling over the idea of Tingle condoms because I'm 12. - Matty Malaprop

You can't prevent the ever-increasing data plan charges though, so don't even bother getting your hopes up. - Matty Malaprop

... and behind that man is soon to be ex-girlfriend. - Matty Malaprop

Damn shame. I'm far more fond of half-and-half in my morning cup of joe. - Matty Malaprop

The tumbler, on the other hand, would have no problems keeping the present you contained. - Matty Malaprop

If you don't vote Trump in 2012, the U.S. economy is going to have hell toupée. - Matty Malaprop

After looking at this pun and spending half an hour trying to come up with some appropriate commentary, all I can bring myself to say is that the Tylenol in the image above seems awfully appealing right now... - Matty Malaprop