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I remember one time in college when I saw a "Leggo my Eggo!" commercial after having just finished a paper on Friedrich Nietzsche, and in my state of post-essay exhaustion I misheard the quote as "Leggo my Ego!" and was thoroughly creeped out and confused. #CoolStoryBro - Matty Malaprop

Damn shame. I'm far more fond of half-and-half in my morning cup of joe. - Matty Malaprop

I'd congratulate your for you punmanship but I'm too busy giggling over the idea of Tingle condoms because I'm 12. - Matty Malaprop

If you don't vote Trump in 2012, the U.S. economy is going to have hell toupée. - Matty Malaprop

You can't prevent the ever-increasing data plan charges though, so don't even bother getting your hopes up. - Matty Malaprop