shoes

Let's get some shoes. Shoes are what separates us from a banana. That and a few genetic twists. Shoes have become a global sensation for young and old collectors alike. If you're all about that footwear and everything that has to do with it, fantastic. But not flip flops or sandals, get out of here with that nonsense.

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Air Jordans might be more expensive, but this guy knows you can't beat shoes that are kid-tested and mother-approved! - Matty Malaprop

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And as your resident male punmaster, I hereby absolve myself from knowing what pumps actually look like, so my above title maintains both its integrity and its alliteration. - Matty Malaprop

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Available for a limited time only: Soccer Mom Slip Ons! - Matty Malaprop