shark

Next time you start bleeding while surfing, all you'll need to make it back to shore alive is a full-body seal costume and a simple splint. #THEMOREYOUKNOW #RAINBOW - Matty Malaprop

... because, you know, he lives underwater and stuff. Um. Yeah. #WHATISJOKESIDON'TEVEN - Matty Malaprop

I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you might also wanna get that overbite checked out while you're at it. - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe vice versa, when it's that time of the month? - Matty Malaprop

Most sharks aren't particularly picky about what they eat, but sometimes their limits are rather finite. - Matty Malaprop

To be fair, it's roughly a million times better than serving a tyrannical cuttlefish. - Matty Malaprop