saying

And in truth, I probably could not have written a concise, punny post title for this particular image, so I'm still a liar even in my attempt to act truthfully. Well shoot. - Matty Malaprop

Well then... screw you, tiny, child-sized bladder! No longer shall I answer to your whiny protestations! - Matty Malaprop

No, seriously. I'm an oracular spectacular unto myself. - Matty Malaprop

Meanwhile, residents in nearby Heck are enjoying comfortable temperatures in the mid-60s. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously dude, if you can just let go of your popsicle angst, then I'm pretty sure your hostile exterior will simply melt away. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, sure, it's cute, but clearly this would have worked better if it referenced by boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. And his package within a package, of course. - Matty Malaprop