reason

Pygmyponyngitis is a silent but deadly disease -- one that ought be feared by all Dental Floss Tycoons the world over. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe we can pick out whatever keeps stopping it up with some redemption tongs? - Matty Malaprop

Today on self-evident science theater... - Matty Malaprop

He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

Wunnerful...wunnerful...wunerful...and now a word from our friends at Geritol....

If you ask me, this pun proves once and for all that boxing is most definitely a three-dimensional sport. - Matty Malaprop