pie

Let's be clear: Outside of the literal interpretation of the conjunction of these two symbols, the iPad is in no way, shape or form a thing even remotely as good as an actual apple pie. - Matty Malaprop

Pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun. - Matty Malaprop

Oh right, 22 days out and it's already Halloween season. Can I please just ellipsis my way out of pumpkin spice everything month? - Matty Malaprop

He won't tell anyone what he puts in his confections though; you might even say his edibles are unrepeatable. - Matty Malaprop

Let us not go there... it is a silly place. - Matty Malaprop

He's been known to mutincheese from time to time. - Matty Malaprop

... and then the tiger eats the pie and the protagonist jumps ship and swims for shore as fast as he pecan! #FakeSpoilers - Matty Malaprop

And it certainly doesn't help that he also had a tendency to consume spam a lot! - Matty Malaprop