pickup line

You nitwit! I said I was a Capricorn, not a Calculus! - Matty Malaprop

... because I'm going to PuNCH you in the teeth. - Matty Malaprop

Say what you will, but I still maintain the best ever pickup line is "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" - Matty Malaprop

Let's go with charming, yeah... - Matty Malaprop

Hey girl, do you want to save the environment? Because my reproductive rig runs on biodiesel! - Matty Malaprop

Remarkable, sure, but it's also a congenital defect that causes her great amounts of pain every day. :( - Matty Malaprop

I've always been quite frond of these plant-related puns. - Matty Malaprop

(P.S. I have no idea why OP chose to call this post Randy Moss but whatever)

Sadly, after one steamy night these two never spoke again. Ms. Film thought Mr. Film was a nice guy, but ultimately decided he was totally disposable. - Matty Malaprop

It's all there, really. Elements of Joyce, Proust, Goethe and Broch, told in a voice halfway between Deleuze and DeLillo. - Matty Malaprop

Did it hurt, when you fell from the arms of that creepy anthropomorphic pole-thing? - Matty Malaprop