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Is double crowning a real thing? HOW DO I PAGEANT-SPEAK? - Matty Malaprop

THE SCHEDULE SAYS 9:13 A.M. AND YET IT ALWAYS SHOWS UP AT 9:09 A.M. AND MY LIFE IS JUST A LIE :((((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

I never want to spend another Mennonite without you ever again! - Matty Malaprop

Don't call her fat though; she's just big-boned. - Matty Malaprop

What can Jamie say? He's the hyneman that lots of different types of lady fall for. - Matty Malaprop

That TOTALLY looks like something!

Punmaster duguk says: "I think I went a bit overboard; there was really no need to sink so low."

I merely say: Too soon? - Matty Malaprop