longform

In a tragic twist, the monks were found dead in their monastery a few days later. The crime scene was a massacre, and a very somber coroner was forced to ask a question no one ever wants to hear: "Officer, whose spine is this, anyway?" - Matty Malaprop

A pun of this caliber is by all accounts just absolutely prepossumsterous. - Matty Malaprop

Some puns are worth waiting a lifetime for. - Matty Malaprop

Set humor to ludicrous speed!

So one day my BFF Brandon Flowers informed me that he'd taken a position with Sam's Town police department as a detective, and was working to track down a couple of serial Killers. I asked the names of The Killers, and he told me they were Mr. Brightside and Jenny [No Last Name Given]. Realizing the work he was involved in was very important, I decided it was best to tell the truth: I've never met a Mr. Brightside, but I do seem to recall that Jenny was a friend of mine at some point. Though For Reasons Unknown, I can't seem to remember anything specific regarding Jenny's involvement with my life. - Matty Malaprop

My title makes about as much sense as this comic. And that's okay, if you ask me! - Matty Malaprop

Anyone know what comic this is from? Whatever it is, there's no doubt in my mind that the writer's pun arsenal is always locked and loaded. - Matty Malaprop

Strangely, Liukin bears a strong resemblance to Nastasya Filipovna from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. This fact made this particular incident a field day for Russian reporters, who humiliated Liukin with such gruesome newspaper headlines as: "Idiot Nastia Lookin' Filipovna flippin' ova on uneven bars." - Matty Malaprop