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Because you really haven't lived until you've seen a monk spackle a wall using nothing but a bag of white rice. - Matty Malaprop

I wanna hold your... paw? - Matty Malaprop

A great taste that won't disappoint, no matter your creed! - Matty Malaprop

I'd tell them to share the love, but I'm pretty sure that violates their moral code as well... - Matty Malaprop

Once you've finished devouring the first book in the series, you get to dive right into the dessert that is the sequel: Game of (Ice Cream) Cones. - Matty Malaprop

Is your grasp on awakeness starting to get a little Slippy? A cup of our fresh-brewed java will have you Peppy in no time! - Matty Malaprop

The super-sized version with the 17-inch screen is pretty saucy, though... - Matty Malaprop

Fighting internet unfunniness crime, one shoop at a time. - Matty Malaprop

It's an experiment about nothing! - Matty Malaprop

I'd like to order four large supremes -- hold the mushrooms -- with extra Sarlacc. Name's Boba Fett. - Matty Malaprop

Let's be clear: Outside of the literal interpretation of the conjunction of these two symbols, the iPad is in no way, shape or form a thing even remotely as good as an actual apple pie. - Matty Malaprop