job

Given my history with Ikea product assembly, I'm mostly positive I'll never net this gig... - Matty Malaprop

He spent a good decade working in the banking industry, but a motion within his company to start charging farmers fees for their annual harvests was the last straw.

Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that pen in your hand? - Matty Malaprop

So does that make Ashley a... funereal estate agent? - Matty Malaprop

See more Facebook foibles over here!

DON'T CALL THAT NUMBER MAN HE HAS A COMBOVER AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COMBOVER HAS BEEN!!!!!! - Matty Malaprop

Sadly, this isn't the first time he sat his pants during an important interview... - Matty Malaprop

It doesn't hurt that he's basically the big cheese around his office, either. - Matty Malaprop