jeans

Got some blue suede shoes to go with those jeans? Jeans have truly come a long way from heavy-duty work pants, all the way up to halfway up the butt of whoever decided society needs to see half of their bum. So hike up your britches and enjoy the punniest jeans you've ever seen.

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Genetics: The only area where skinny jeans can simultaneously be mom jeans without causing a scene. - Matty Malaprop

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Via Punblr
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He spent a good decade working in the banking industry, but a motion within his company to start charging farmers fees for their annual harvests was the last straw.

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... or maybe it's just a spoonfulerism, because I eat both for breakfast every morning. - Matty Malaprop