iphone

Seriously, dam them all to shell! - Matty Malaprop

I'm one of those who do, Siri-usly. - Matty Malaprop

Well then... screw you, tiny, child-sized bladder! No longer shall I answer to your whiny protestations! - Matty Malaprop

Try the veal, etc. - Matty Malaprop

It's a call I decline 10 times out of 10. - Matty Malaprop

Because Bing is neither useful nor punifiable. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Brainless Tales

I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.

You can't prevent the ever-increasing data plan charges though, so don't even bother getting your hopes up. - Matty Malaprop

I for one shoal never seas schooling you with amazingly shallow water jokes. - Matty Malaprop