insult

Fortunately (unfortunately?), man's best friend is more or less man's worst drug. Unless you're a crazy dog person, but that's just silly. - Matty Malaprop

Love LOLcats? Who doesn't?! There are so many more over here!

Beneath his cruel exterior, he's really just too chicken to even try to make friends. - Matty Malaprop

Let it go, Jeff. Richard is clearly just a potato who can't take a hint. - Matty Malaprop

Man, what is it with all these TAs with strange names? Helen Waite for my English class, and Fa Kyerself for my philosophy class... - Matty Malaprop

This is eggsactly the thing I needed to brighten my otherwise dreary day! - Matty Malaprop

Black bear just got burned so hard, he's going to need a winter's worth of hibernation for his creys. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, Square can be such an ass sometimes. His hurtful words are meant in jest, but they still have apostrophic consequences on sensitive souls like Circle. - Matty Malaprop

He'll make you wish you'd never been born. - Matty Malaprop

He's a nut! He's fruit-fruit in the coconut! - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe, lacking any sharp edges, it just harmlessly bounces off? - Matty Malaprop

That a piss-off is synonymously known as a sword fight lends the word rapier a whole bunch of different awkward connotations. Ew. - Matty Malaprop